Twitch, Twitch
by Blkwidow77
Summary: The problem is, that the world Yu Yu Hakusho live in, isn't ours. It's another plane entirely. But what if I told you that, if you took the hand of Enigma we could go there? Would you come? Do you dare? She's just like us, human. Are you still there? And catching Hiei? What if she could show us how to persuade him, a human female's what he's really been looking for all his life?
1. Twitch under pressure

Just as a warning I'm quite sure this story will require a PG13 rating though I will do my best to make sure it goes no higher. Right now this first chapter is at G so it's cool. But if really dark angst will bother you I would not recommend this story as I'm pretty sure it's going to get dark with some disturbing content. I will warn for each chapter accordingly.

Also, please bear with me. I know this story doesn't seem to go anywhere you want to be right away but I'm taking my time and I hope you can enjoy it anyway. Oh, I almost forgot-

**_Hiei_**: What the &*#^! Get on it with it onna! You talk too much and my patience is thin...*he withdraws his katana and slowly licks the edge of the blade looking me dead in the eyes*

**_Me_:** UH...ummmm...as I was saying about my stor- *Hiei advances just behind me and I feel the cold of the blade seeping into the skin of my neck*

**_Kurama_**: Now Hiei, Is this really necessary?

**_Hiei_:** *growls* Quiet kitsune! I can read her mind and this twisted onna likes it! *he smirks*

**_Me_**: *blushing furiously* Fine! You a# ! I do not, nor have I ever owned any aspect of Yu Yu Hakusho! I do, however, own the ideas and writing of this story. Just not the characters. *seething now*

*Hiei loosens the blade and I turn my head toward his and lick his cheek heavily*

*Hiei jumps back disgusted*

**_Hiei_**: "She...she f*&%$# licked me! You will _DIE!"_

*I run for my life behind Kurama and stick my tongue out at him*

*he snarls and goes to make for me but Kurama protects me (such a gentleman!).*

*so Hiei sends me a message telepathically "_I can wait... You can't hide behind him forever..."*_

*I_ shiver_ heavily gripping tightly to Kurama. Kurama shakes his head...*

_Kurama_: Ok. Well, While they play cat and mouse here's the story she promised you...  
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**_"Twitch Under Pressure" _**

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*CLICK* (the sound of a button being pressed down)

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"Hello? Uh… um… Ok. Is this thing working ok? I better test it later and make sure. Ok. Now I'm really ready. Testing! Are you out there? Ha ha. That's a joke. I hope I get that joke when I'm older, or I've really gotten to be an old fogey! I've started to record this on my new hand recorder I got from my birthday. That was yesterday. This is important, the day after my birthday. I'm recording everything now for my future self. Are you listening future self? I've bought all these tapes to record my thoughts and the stuff going on in my life from this moment forward. I'm not a kid anymore future self but I figure you might forget some of your own thoughts when you were still young. So you have to listen to me, because, you know, you're me!"

*CLICK* _(sound of the recorder button being pushed to turn it off)_

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*Click*

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**That's it!**

No, _really_, That's it! I've finally had it! This family is just too nuts, even for me! Maybe it was the fighting that went on day and night. Maybe it was the prison like feel of the inside of the house walls, who knows, but my patience has left the building!

But wouldn't you know, just before my sanity had run out, I turned 18! That's right, legal to do just about anything. Or more importantly, move out! This is me doing a happy dance on the table. This is me doing a hundred yard dash down the street, like I've a tail on fire. Blow me out like a candle and I'll still keep going!

I can feel the sudden surge and the urge of excitement reach through this body and tingle my finger tips. Like the spark of electricity just a moment before lightning strikes you, that's what it feels like. I want to run and keep running, and who can stop me now?

Not you mom! Dad, are you up for trying? But poof, like a wizard, I'm going to vanish I swear!

"Wow! I...I… I actually made it! An adult! Who would've thought? I could actually stand up and walk out the door right now!" I sparked. But then, it was just like… the energy as quickly as it had come drained away and I passed out on my bed.

Some heroine. Some great character. I'm writing my own story in my head, and I'm still falling like a loser, into sleep.

Besides, there's just one little catch... money.

But even that won't slow me down. At least not for long. Nothing short of death could put a dent in my plans. With this determination mounting, I feel like I might be able to finally wake from this long sleep. From this childhood of white bones.

Cross me off the Disney list, I'm no sleeping beauty. And if I were? The kiss from a prince has come from father time. Not only that but I feel it, it's my turn to be courted by fate.

See, at my graduation party at the high school, there was this international representative there passing out papers about an opportunity for students looking for work. She looked old, sketchy and out of place but I was looking for an out, so how picky could I be?

I perused the papers on her rickety old fold up table... Apparently, there are some international companies that are looking for fresh-from-high school students to... well... to do the grunt work, But hey! They're offering job experience, plus room and board.

I'm trying to imagine looking for an apartment in a foreign country, and a roommate… yeah, that's making me shiver, giving me the heebie jeebies. I think 'I'm sure that wouldn't go well!' as thoughts of some creepy guy with sneezing problems pops into my head.

But look, I get to travel! Sounds like gold to me! The lady, she's seriously weird, with her hair all gray and white in a bun but her hairs are running! Those hairs just stick out, in places all over, like she's been sleeping in that bun for a week. And didn't anyone tell her that when you're missing the third button on your business suit, it's like REALLY obvious?

But again, and I can't stress this enough, I need out and I'm going to pretend she doesn't look like that. I check out which countries are searching for suckers... I mean fresh recruits for work: India, Cameroon; Africa, Russia...blah blah blah... **JAPAN**! "Oh Yeah!" I shout, "The anime capital, I'm SOOO there!"

So I do the adult thing (so I think) and just sign my name away on the dotted line. 'Better hope she isn't Ursula from "The Little Mermaid"!' I chuckle to myself. But even if she is, there's no prince on either side of the ocean to save me, now is there?

E.N.I.G.M.A. Yeah, that's my name. It's weird, it looks weird on paper too, but my parents always said they don't know how they had me, thinking that was some kind of funny joke. Enigma, a puzzle, the mysterious, an unknown. Yeah, ha ha, mom. Funny dad, good one. Not.

Then it's time to go, this grad party's over, and I was mentally never there. It's supposed to be this great goodbye. You know, Goodbye to friends, and school, some kind of pseudo youth of happiness. But I wonder, does anyone really have that kind of magical childhood? And if they do, are they somehow marked, like a halo over their head that cloaks them from the rest of us?

But this is it for me, and without a backward glance I find myself humming on the way to my car, strangely happier then I've been in a long time. But wouldn't you know it, even in that I just can't be normal. I get to my car and I laugh, a little giddy. I just realized my car is Japanese! A great good luck charm, as if it's saying to me 'GO!'. After all, it's a Mitsubishi. I just love my electric blue sporty car, even more now, it would seem. **IN FACT**. It would seem... that... _EVERYTHING_ is funny. 'No, that's just exaggeration' I'm thinking to myself.

Then I see a caterpillar crawl across my shoe and I... just... lose it! I'm laughing so hard I actually fall over. "Owww!" I continue to laugh. It takes several minutes for the laugh attack to subside. 'Wow. I'm beginning to think that representative slipped something in my pop she gave me.' I think, still smiling. Then the sight of a tall lady walking a white fluffy poodle crosses my line of vision and I dissolve into another attack and the thought vanishes from my mind as quickly as it came...

*Click*

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*Click*

_So that was a really weird day yesterday_.

Man, I don't know about the rest of my city that had to deal with me, but I'm glad it's over! "My stomach hurts soooo bad" I moan. I NEVER want to laugh again! What was with me? I laughed so much that my whole family had begun to worry something was wrong with me. Well, more than usual.

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*Flashback*

Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH *twitch, twitch* HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

Mother: Honey? Are you alright?

Me: Oh, HAHAHAHHA *wiping tears from your eyes* I'm just dandy! HAHAHAHAH You?

Mother: Dandy? ARE YOU DOING DRUGS?

Sister: This is great. I'm so glad I got a video camera for Christmas...

Brother: She seems fine mother. *twitch, twitch* *twitch, twitch*

*End of Flashback*

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And when my best friend called, I could barely manage to complete a conversation without bursting into another fit. Jazz, my best friend, kept saying "Enigma, What's the matter?" I manage to momentarily become serious, "What do you mean?".

"I don't know...You just seem a little...unbalanced." she says carefully. "Oh! You think I'm crazy?!" I snort and yet again, dissolved into tears of laughter!

But hey! I got this! I'm fine now! I haven't laughed once yet today and it's almost noon. Granted, I've been EXTRA careful though not to talk to anyone much or even look around so perhaps that's played its part? And I feel much more normal now, although if I'm being absolutely truthful here, I'm still a little too happy. Yeah, it's not at all normal for me, as I continue to hum to myself (the humming is also not normal, particularly THE SONG I chose to hum. Get this. How many 18 year old's know the theme song to Barney? I didn't even know I knew it and it REALLY scares me!)

So you can guess that I'm super quick to pack my things I'll need for Japan.

You know, now that I think about it (what else is there to do when I can't talk or look at anyone!) my parents took this whole moving-across-the-world thing really well.  
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*Flashback*

**Dad**: What the &*# ?! You can't go there... there are too many foreigners!

**Me**: Uh...Yeah. It is_ THEIR_ country.

**Dad**: That's not the point! Go to your room!

**Me**: Ok! Thanks!

**Mom**: *Twitch, twitch*

**Sister**: Sweet! I finally get a whole room to myself!

**Brother**: See ya! *twitch, twitch*

*End Flashback*

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I bounded into my room like I have clouds under my feet. Then begin to waltz with myself: 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, , then suddenly I freeze...

I hadn't thought about it when I first signed up but I really will be moving away from everyone and everything I have ever known.

It really hits me.** It hits me hard.**

"I won't be able to see Jazz anymore or really talk to her..." I just hadn't realized it till now. And I've got to admit here, that I started to feel very scared at the thought of being by myself in a foreign country.

'Oh my god! I don't even know how to speak Japanese!'. This is really freaking me out. Then... I don't know how to describe this… my face was all contorted in anxiety and fear, and suddenly it smoothes out. I smile again and just… resume my humming. 'I'll be fine.' I say to myself 'How strange that I should get worried like that. Over nothing...' I thought and continue to hum to myself...

_But Future Self, are you listening close to this part?_

**IT WAS WEIRD.** That whole moment was _WEIRD_. I didn't feel like myself at all. I can be crazy, sure, but it's like I just switched off _by someone,_ like I wasn't really real. I don't know. Maybe I'm not making any sense at all.

Okay. Yeah._ I don't want to talk about this anymore._

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*Click*

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*Click*

A couple of weeks passed and here I am. At the airport, Jazz can't believe I'm leaving. Hell, I can't believe it either! She looks so sad though. Jazz really isn't taking this well.

I say to her "Jazz, It's just for a year. I can come back in 6 months even if I want." trying to cheer her up. It's not working, so I try again "Why don't you see if you can't sign up too? I'm sure they want more people!"

Jazz picked up her head at that, looking a little hopeful. "Where did you sign up at?" she cattle prodded me. "Uh. At the graduation party the school threw a month ago. It was that old lady at the table in the back of the gym. She was an international representative she said. I'm sure the school would have her number" I tell her very matter of factly.

Jazz looked at me strangely then. "What lady? There wasn't anyone there but the students and the teachers?" she told me slowly, like I'm stupid. I felt myself getting angry "Are you calling me a liar? I said she was there. I stood right in front of her and signed her little contract!".

At the look of the impending fight on my face, Jazz must have decided that maybe she DIDN'T see the old lady but perhaps she was there, that's all. It's not like I would ever lie to her. But still... It was really obvious that she didn't see some old lady at any table ANYWHERE at that party. I'm thinking that should throw up red flags and all, but it's too late now anyways, right?

"Oh well." Jazz agreed with me "I'll just contact the school for this lady's number tomorrow." Jazz smiled at me in one of those apologic looks and we hugged goodbye. I certainly don't want to leave her on a bad note.

Just before I stepped into the hallway leading to the plane I looked back. There she is. Standing just where I left her. I smiled at her in encouragement and wonder why I don't feel so sad? Shouldn't I?

But I've stood there too long and the people behind me are getting pissed so I walk on, hoping maybe I'll see her soon...

*Click*_ (the tape recorder is shut off)_

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Ok peoples, Do you want the plane to crash before you reach Japan? Then pick the chapter titled _"The plane crashes"_.

If you want to land safely, read "_An uneventful flight_".

Well? What do you think? If you think something can be improved please tell me specifically what and I'll be happy to look at it and see if you're right!

*speaking from the safety of being behind Kurama* ;D

*looks over at Hiei who is still staring daggers at me*

**_Me_**: *gulp* O_O;; Um...Someone please help me...


	2. The Plane Crashes!

Well, You all are really strange to pick this one but whatever makes you happy! So now I'll start the story:

*suddenly my bloody death appears in various images in my head*

I look over and there is Hiei coming straight for me.

ME: Uh, Hi Hiei! I, uh, I didn't do the disclaimer 'cuz I didn't mention you guys here... I ...I...

*He continues to advance not saying a word*

**ME:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters! Does this make you happy Hiei?

*starting to back away*

*Hiei says nothing just continues to corner me slowly. A dangerous look in his eye*

**Me:** O-O Oh god... mommy…. *deep seated fear very apparent on my face...*

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**"The Plane Crashes"**  
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_Previously:_

~~~~~Just before I stepped into the hallway leading to the plane I looked back. There she is. Standing just where I left her. I smiled at her in encouragement and wonder why I don't feel so sad? Shouldn't I?

But I've stood there too long and the people behind me are getting pissed so I walk on, hoping maybe I'll see her soon...

*Click*_ (the tape recorder is shut off_~~~~~

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*click*

I board the plane.

"It's really hot in here." I mumbled irritated. They better get this show on the road soon so I can turn the A/C on or I'm gonna bust some heads! I hunt down my assigned seat, which is all the way at the frigging back. 'Figures!' I snarl still more agitated.

I sit hard into my seat and start tapping my fingers on the glass of the small airplane window. The rhythm almost reminds me of... _AND THAT'S IT_! I start singing "Staying Alive! Staying Alive! Oo Oo Oo Oo. Staaayyyyinnngggg Alllliiiiiiiiiivvveee!..." at the top of my lungs. I look to my left for Jazz to back me up and then I realize once again that she isn't here...

*click*

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*click*

The plane ride is dull. So dull that even watching the guy picking a winner five seats over from me suddenly seems extremely interesting. It's been 9 hours already and I still have 17 hours to go. My mind begins to play with me _'I...I'm not going to make it, sir! Just go on without me'_. I grab my throat. How long have I been sitting here? Will the engine stop? Will Dorothy ever make it home? _'We're not Kansas anymore'...'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn'_..._'I'll make him an offer he can't refuse'.  
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Over and over my mind switches looking for an internal channel that's interesting. Man, my brain needs cable! This is soo sad. I've really let myself go. I look down at my stomach _'Oh my god! I'm gaining weight from sitting here too long. Look how my thighs are spreading! Can no one stop them? Will they take over this plane?_' My face is contorted in mortal fear.

The lady next to me looks over at me looking at my lap and gets a weird look on her face. She leans into me and whispers "Have you had an accident dear? Perhaps I can help you cover it till you get to the bathroom?"

I face fault. "What?" I shout. She startles and looks a little embarrassed "I just thought you looked like you, umm, needed help?"

I stare at her with my mouth hanging open. Normally this would have easily set me off but I'm sooo slap happy... That's just tooo funny! I'm laughing so hard no sound comes and tears stream from my eyes. This earns even more strange looks from other passengers near me, making me laugh harder. I'm doubled over now gasping for breath.

One woman who's been watching from too far away to hear my previous conversation apparently thinks the other woman upset me and I'm crying. She bolts up and comes over shouting at the other lady "How dare you hurt that poor girl! Just look what you've done! You should be ashamed of yourself! You'd better apologize right now!" I try to speak. To calm this lady-in-shining-armor down. But I can't get enough air. I try again and...

The plane lurches. The 'fasten your seat belt' sign comes on. I hear the pilots' voice over the intercom "We have hit an unexpected storm ladies and gentlemen. Please take your seats and fasten your seat belts while we navigate through this. Thank you and thank you for choosing Pan Am".

The plane continues to bounce me around. I drank too much pop and start to fizz. Oh man! I think I need to use the bathroom! I unbuckle my seat belt and try to make my way to the bathroom. The flight attendant barks, none too kindly, "PLEASE go BACK to your seat immediately!"

I look at her, my skin starting to fade to green, "I...I need...BLAHHHHH".

I throw up everywhere! Peanut chunks & orange juice slime covering the walls. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve, look up at her and say "Well, Never mind. I'm fine now!" I smile at her mischievously as I notice that now she's turning green. Matter of fact, everyone nearby is starting to look a little green around the gills...

Gee, I don't think it smells that bad. I shrug and go back to my seat, as the plane continues to attempt to throw me to the ground.

But then, just as suddenly, the plane is thrown sideways. Some people scream. Some turn white.

My eyes go wide.

'This can't be good' I reason. Then it happens. We're losing altitude...Fast! This can't be happening. Not to me. Not now. My knuckles turn white as my finger nails dig into the seat. I will the plane to stop. To even out. It won't. I know that and down and down it goes. My heart is beating so fast. I could probably have a heart attack any moment now...

Then suddenly I feel the nose of the plane being brought up and just after...

_**CRASH! **_

We've hit the ocean hard. My whole body is shook violently and I wonder that my head didn't come clean off. Everyone who isn't dead is trying to make for the exits that pop open. The storm is raging and the water is pouring in, sinking the plane. I grab my cushion ("a floatation device in case of emergency" I hear the echoes of the many past flight attendants say at the beginning of a flight).

I push my way to the edge of the door way and jump! _Splash!_

I hit the water immediately and would have been drug under if it weren't for the floatation seat. But I'm still having trouble keeping my breath with the waves crashing on me and the rain pelting relentlessly. I try to swim away from the plane and the flames that have already engulfed it but I'm just so tired...

I get a little ways away and there is a section of the plane floating nearby. I climb onto it and pass out...

*click*

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*click*

I wake to the sun scorching my skin and a parched throat. For a moment I don't know where I am. Then I sit up and all there is to see is ocean. As far as I look in any direction...the ocean.

_Just the ocean._

'_Don't panic_!' I think '_Don't panic_!' I look around me for another person from the plane who might have survived with me. I see small sections of the metal of the plane and seats and luggage. Even some underwear and a child's blue stripped shoe floating nearby me on all sides. So many people's clothes...with the people still in them. I close my eyes. This is not happening. If just isn't. I lay back down and curl into myself. Not feeling at all well, I pass back out.

*click*

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*click*

I wake back up many hours later.

I'm glad that I thought to tuck the recorder in my bra, because it gives me something to talk to. What really surprised me, is that it still works. Or I think it works. I'm kind of afraid to check.

The sun is starting to set. I'm not hungry but what I wouldn't give for something to drink. I can feel the dehydration beginning in my body. I hope someone finds me soon. They have to know the plane went down right? Or maybe a ship will pass? I spend the half the night staring into the night sky, the stars twinkling at me.

Maybe _they'll _tell someone I'm here.

*click*

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*click*

It's been 3 days now.

I'm completely dehydrated. I've been floating forever. I haven't seen anything. Not land, not a ship nor a plane. Where am I anyway? My mind has completely lost grip with reality and wanders anywhere it pleases. I can't speak anymore but in my head I sing loud and clear "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out. The worms crawl in and out your snout..." I think about it and realize what that song means and decide to stop singing it.

Suddenly a fin appears above the waters, edge in the distance. I watch it glued. It's the first entertaining thing I've seen for as long as I can remember. It circles and disappears beneath the surface. I sigh in disappointment, it ended so soon. Then I'm startled when it appears again a few feet from me. I stare hard. It looks so weird. It looks like a shark but not quite and it's SOOO big.

Then my eyes widen in comical fashion… it looks like a Megaladon!

I would remember that weird skin pattern anywhere! Aren't those extinct? Yes, that's what my science teacher told me last year. Man, Was she ever wrong! What I wouldn't give to see her face if she knew right now. And **I** got to see one up close! How sweet is that?

Then I see it break surface with its mouth wide open coming straight for me. My last thought being "Sh*t! This REALLY isn't my day!"

(there's no click, just the gulping sound of water, as the recorder slips further and further down from the surface of the water)

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Ok, You sick twisted people who selected to crash. This is what you get! You didn't even get to see Hiei yet! What is the matter with you? You'll never get him dead! What kind of people are reading my story anyways?

*as I speak these words you see smoke escaping from my mouth*

*suddenly you look at me and realize I'm tied to a tree and look a little singed...*

*you look at me. I look back, pleading for help with my eyes...*

**ME:** Well, I don't know if you guys liked this story but Hiei decided he did and he can wait a little longer to kill me...

**HIEI:** *smirk* hn.


	3. An uneventful flight

So here we are at the next part. Thanx for sticking with me (or being so bored, you've nothing else to do!). I appreciate it!

PLEASE REVIEW! ^^_^^

**ME:** As is, despite my protests, required... *suddenly someone from behind me puts a hand over my mouth and eyes and drags me back*

*I'm gagged quickly and tied against a tree*

**HIEI:** My patience has paid off. There's no one here to save you...*laughs evilly*

**ME**: OxO;;; mmmphhhh...mmmppphhh *I point further down the page*

**HIEI:** Yes, I see the story. It is written already. There is no reason to delay this.

**ME:** mmmpppphhhh!

**HIEI:** *looks really irratated. Then rips the gag off* WHAT?

**ME:** I have to do the disclaimer remember? If I don't, then I own you...*grinning evilly now*

**HIEI:** (O O);; *gets right up in my face* Say it NOW!  
O

**ME:** Maybe I don't want to anymore...*smiling sweetly at him*

**HIEI**: *looking angry and shifting his eyes away from me* What do you want...

**ME:** *whispering into his ear*

**HIEI:** LO O;;;; *suddenly he turns VERY red* fine... *he releases me*  
O

**ME:** *grinning triumphantly* hehehe my luck is finally starting to improve *tugging shirt back into place* Now, As I was saying, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, just the stories...

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_**"An Uneventful Flight"**_

_Previously..._

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~~~~~Just before I stepped into the hallway leading to the plane I looked back. There she is. Standing just where I left her. I smiled at her in encouragement and wonder why I don't feel so sad? Shouldn't I?

But I've stood there too long and the people behind me are getting pissed so I walk on, hoping maybe I'll see her soon...

*Click*_ (the tape recorder is shut off_~~~~~

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*click*

I board the plane.

"It's really hot in here." I mumbled irritated. They better get this show on the road soon so I can turn the A/C on or I'm gonna bust some heads! I hunt down my assigned seat, which is all the way at the frigging back. 'Figures!' I snarl still more agitated.

Sitting hard into my seat, I start tapping my fingers on the glass of the small airplane window. The rhythm almost reminds me of... _AND THAT'S IT_! I start singing "Staying Alive! Staying Alive! Oo Oo Oo Oo. Staaayyyyinnngggg Alllliiiiiiiiiivvveee!..." at the top of my lungs. I look to my left for Jazz to back me up and then I realize once again that she isn't here...

*click*

._.

*click*

The plane ride is dull. So dull that even watching the guy picking a winner five seats over from me suddenly seems extremely interesting. It's been 9 hours already and I still have 17 hours to go. My mind begins to play with me _'I...I'm not going to make it, sir! Just go on without me'_. I grab my throat. How long have I been sitting here? Will the engine stop? Will Dorothy ever make it home? _'We're not Kansas anymore'...'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn'_..._'I'll make him an offer he can't refuse'.  
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Over and over my mind switches looking for an internal channel that's interesting. Man, my brain needs cable! This is soo sad. I've really let myself go. I look down at my stomach _'Oh my god! I'm gaining weight from sitting here too long. Look how my thighs are spreading! Can no one stop them? Will they take over this plane?_' My face is contorted in mortal fear.

The lady next to me looks over at me looking at my lap and gets a weird look on her face. She leans into me and whispers "Have you had an accident dear? Perhaps I can help you cover it till you get to the bathroom?"

I face fault. "What?" I shout. She startles and looks a little embarrassed "I just thought you looked like you, umm, needed help?"

I stare at her with my mouth hanging open. Normally this would have easily set me off but I'm sooo slap happy... That's just tooo funny! I'm laughing so hard no sound comes and tears stream from my eyes. This earns even more strange looks from other passengers near me, making me laugh harder. I'm doubled over now gasping for breath.

One woman who's been watching from too far away to hear my previous conversation apparently thinks the other woman upset me and I'm crying. She bolts up and comes over shouting at the other lady "How dare you hurt that poor girl! Just look what you've done! You should be ashamed of yourself! You'd better apologize right now!" I try to speak. To calm this lady-in-shining-armor down. But I can't get enough air. I try again and manage to squeak out an explanation.

Not that there's any way to really explain that without sounding like a full on moron. Jazz would be laughing her head off, I'm not laughing at all. After that I figure I better just zone out for the rest of the ride.

And I do.

*click*

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*click*

Two headaches, 3 muscle spasms and 6 leg cramps later. The plane finally lands. I feel horrible. I slept a lot but it feels like I haven't slept in weeks. Serious jet lag, ugh! I have one thing in my favor. I only have one carryon bag and a rolling suit case that isn't that large to cart around.

So I stand up to get off this god forsaken plane and reach above to the compartment to get my suit case. _WOOAAAHHH! _

My B.O. is bad enough to kill someone! And it's just morning in Japan! I'm supposed to go to the company to meet the people I'm going to work with before seeing my new pad. This won't due. That's all I need...to be known as the 'smelly American chic'.

Well, wouldn't know? Japan is like the coolest place for strange conveniences and all kinds of weird unusual things. I've heard they even had soda pop made out of jelly! Yechh!

But so anyways, this airport has special bathrooms that have showers. I have to pay for it but that's ok. I waste no space or time in boogying over there to take a shower and redo my make-up. The hot water was great against my skin, as I scrubbed off a whole childhood of memories!

I'm really starting all new! Slipping on clean clothes, I picked out a purple silver sundress. The material's so thin, it kisses me and bells against my shape. Yeah, it looks hot, so light I don't even feel like I'm wearing anything. Snazzy sandals are laced around my bare ankles like snakes. I check myself out in the mirror, turning side to side. Man, Do I look good! Now I'm ready to go!

Heading out of the airport, I clutch with great determination, the paper with directions to the office from the airport. That and its precious map of the city. I figure 'It shouldn't be too hard to find this place' and head off down the street.

*click*

._.

*click*

That was 2 hours ago.

I'm sweating like a pig, drawing stares no matter where I stumble. I'm in some kind of market plaza. There's a big blue sign arched over it, but of course written in Japanese characters, I don't know what it says. I should have reached the office within 30 minutes. Where am I anyway? I stop and stare at the map... and I can feel the gooey ooze of my eyes glazing over.

"Oh" I say "How stupid of me! I should have turned left at this street...Well, there's a short cut if I take this street right here..." Feeling like I might finally get to this end of this crazy journey, I fold up the map and head off, picking up my pace. Damn, I'm so freaking hungry for lunch…. for breakfast… for…. my god! How long has it been since I've eaten? A day and a half? Two days? Did I even eat anything the day I left?

I come to the street that's a short cut, my stomach growls. And is it ever crowded. I'm not used to such a heavy plush of people walking so closely together! They make me think of sardines in a can, only they smell better… mostly. I realize I'm still standing there but damn, I just don't want to get in the pulse of that crowd. My stomach snarls again, this time so loud, some guy turns and looks at me.

Then I see it! The silver shine! The amazing astronomically astounding glint of a candy wrapper!**!** Some old lady had it in her hand, just barely opened and it looked like she was going to throw it in the trash next to the building on that sidewalk! '_NOOOOO!_' I thought crazed. My stomach lurched hard, then roared with me! 'I'll save you chocolate!' I thought loudly.

In that moment, all I can say in my own defense is that clearly… I wasn't thinking.

*ahem*

I had moved so swiftly to rescue the chocolate from her hand, on what I thought was on its way to the trash can… But when I got right up by her and snatched it, I saw that on the other side of the trash can was a little kid. He'd just been too short to see. And I'm going to assume that it was her grandson or something, but I just don't know.

And hey, at that point, I had the chocolate in my hands and I don't know how I would have been able to explain that to them, if I wanted to try to give it back. Who knew if they even spoke English? I sure as hell didn't speak Japanese! And the lady was staring at me, this crazy foreigner, so deeply, that I was pretty damn sure she didn't realize I'd pilfered her chocolate right out of her hands yet!

So yeah, I'm not proud of it… but I made a decision… _I took off with my booty_!

Up ahead on the sidewalk at my super quick pace, the only thing I can see besides people packed close is a lamp post that is dead center of the sidewalk. I pushed my way against the tide of them, to the left of the lamp post hoping it doesn't take me too long to reach the end of the street.  
_  
BUT, as I pass the lamp post I feel a sudden and directionless gust of wind sweep past me. It flirts with my hair and threatens to lift my dress over my head. I quickly snatched it down! _

_The world, too, seemed to go fuzzy and light, but it was just a moment and then everything resumed its shape_. _It was almost like vertigo, several squiggly lines that used to be reality and the world around me, and then the world straightened out again._

'How weird!' I think, 'There isn't even a breeze today. Where did that come from?'

But the moment has passed. I reasoned it to just be delusions from starvation and with stolen chocolate melting in my hand, I decide I'm already late so I keep walking. That's right I keep walking and walking and walking.

I never find it, the office. Well, that's not true either. I followed the map to EXACTLY where it's SUPPOSED to be. But the address belongs to an ice cream shop, NOT a corporation.

I begin to panic. I try to ask people around me for help. They don't speak English. I don't speak Japanese. I show them the address, they point to the ice cream shop. **This is not good**.

I check my watch. It's 5:00 pm in Japan. The sun will set in another hour or so. My whole f&*king day is gone. What will I do?

I think. I think REALLY hard. Hey! I'll call Jazz! She'll know what to do! This thought helps me calm down and I begin to search for a phone. It still winds up taking me about 10 minutes but I finally found one! I look at my paper with the code for calling the U.S. and carefully dial out.

*_Riiinnng...Riiinnnggg_*

(a recorded and heavily modulated voice picks up) _"We're sorry but the number you dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try the number again. Code # 6 6 4. *Beep beep Beep* We're sorry but the number you dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try the number again. Code # 6 6 4". _

I freeze. "_**What?"**_

I dial this number all the time. I _know_ it's the right number. I try again. This time I punch each number very carefully. But I get the recording again_. And again_. **And again.** "What's going on?" I practically scream. So I try my parents' number. I really don't feel like talking to them right now but they'll just have to do...

_"We're sorry but the number you dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try the number again. Code # 6 6 4. *Beep beep Beep* We're sorry but the number you dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you've reached this recording in error, please hang and try the number again. Code # 6 6 4". _

And there went all of my coins…

This can't be happening! What is going on? Now I am really freaked out. I wasn't prepared for this. I should have been but, then again, details were never my thing. 'Think clearly, come on Enigma, use your head!' I rail at myself. Damn! Ok! I know! I'll head out and look for a motel I can stay in for the night, while I figure out what to do…

I shove a bite of the forbidden chocolate bar in my mouth. I'm hurrying up the sidewalk trying to beat the sunset and my dress twists tightly in the wrong direction, bunching up. I look down, trying impatiently to adjust it as I walk, the chocolate bar dangling from my lips half eaten**. *Smack***

I crash into something soft and fall backwards landing on my butt. "OWWW!" My chocolate snaps in half and falls on the sidewalk. I snarl and snatch it up in my hand, dirty or not, anyways. I look up and see this girl around my age with bright blue hair also on her butt and I grin, feeling suddenly like a barbaric a$$. "Sorry." I mumbled and stagger up, attempting to help her up as well, with my non-chocolate covered hand.

Then it dawns on me that I apologized in English and she probably doesn't have a clue what I said. And my sense of loneliness washes back over me making me frown. She seems startled at my words but then recovers a little too quick, smiling broadly at me. Twisting my body, so I don't do something stupid like turn my back on her, I try to look behind myself… o_O

But I don't see who she's smiling so freely at. When I turn back and look at her looking at me, I figure it must actually be me. 'OOOkkk.' I think 'perhaps she has escaped from a nearby mental ward. I'll just slip away quietly...'

Me and my smeared hand turn to walk and she blurts out "Hello! You speak _English_ don't you?" I froze, debating my options about answering her or not, but apparently she's waiting to see if I understand her. 'Does she think I'm an alien? Is she one?' I ponder. She is really starting to creep me out. "Uh. Yeah, actually, I do. Did I hit your head or something?" I say slowly dragging out my words.

She giggled like a school girl ignoring what I said entirely and says "Oh great! Where are you from? My name is Botan. What's yours? Have you had dinner? If not, we could go out somewhere together and talk!" I stare at her like she has three heads but sigh. She's probably the only English speaking person I'm going to find today and my options are severely limited, so despite the warning bells going off in my head, I may as well get to know her...

Looking for some strength, I open my hand and take a big lick of chocolate. Somehow, stolen or not, dirty or not, it tastes amazing.

Then turning fully to her for the first time, I take a deep breath "I'm from the U.S. Name is Enigma. I came here for a working abroad program but I seem to be lost. Don't suppose you could help me?"

Her eyes glitter. She looks really excited. This scares me. I've never seen someone so happy before and, frankly, I NEVER want to AGAIN!

I take another big _BIG_ lick…

She comes close. "Sure! Where are you trying to go?" I show her the address and map. There's a dark brownish smudge now on the X marked spot but she coughs and tries to rub it out subtly while studying it. She looks up and says "No problem! This way!" Then she grabs my arm and drags me down the street…

Right back to the ice cream shop.

I look like I'm about to cry. She looks at me and panics. "What's wrong? Don't you like ice cream? Does it bring back bad memories? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I stare at this odd woman in disbelief. What planet is she from?

And another…. _llliiiiccckkkk…_

So I take a deep breath and tell her in more detail why I'm here in Japan and my day's events up till now. My stomach growls again, not satisfied, but the chocolate is licked clean. I feel very sad.

Misreading the sad look on my face, she nods her head sympathetically and then suddenly that odd scary happy light comes back in her eyes.

"Hey! You obviously need a place to stay till you sort this out right? Well, you can stay at my friend Genkai's place. She won't mind at all. How about it?" she blurts all together. This doesn't sound like a great idea at all to me but I don't really have a lot of options right now and it's starting to get dark. So, with great effort and a very empty stomach, I say "Um. Well, if you really don't think she'll min..."

And before I can finish my sentence she dragging me away down the street.

I try to pay attention to the streets I'm passing so I can find my way back tomorrow but it's hard to focus on a damn thing with her mouth running a mile a minute. "I just know you'll be fine. This will all work out I'm sure. This is actually a great time for you. The whole gang will be there tonight for dinner." she rambles, and my stomach roars like Godzilla, I pinch it to shut it up.

"Everyone will love you...blah, blah, blah" she continues on like a train wreck. Geez, this girl never shuts up. But suddenly I laugh. She is funny though. And I like her energy. And it's nice to have someone to talk to again, too. Maybe it's lucky that I ran into her after all...

She leads me through street after street. I'm completely lost and at her mercy now. I've stopped trying to quiet my stomach or remember how I got where I am. I look up and unexpectedly find she's lead me to a hill with, like, 10,000 steps! I stop dead and drag her to a stop with me, "We… uh, we don't really have to climb all of these steps, do we? Isn't there an elevator somewhere?" She laughs at me like I'm on Comedy Central and says "You're funny. Genkai's home is at the top. Come on! We're late already!"

I grudgingly follow (what choice do I have?), trying to keep up. I'm starting to breathe hard not even a third of the way. *_panting hard_* 'I REALLY need to start going to the gym again. This is really sad. Good thing Jazz can't see me or she'd be laughing her head off right now!' I'm thinking that Jazz would have laughed at me about all this crap, more than she would have ever felt sympathetic and I'm starting to wonder why we're friends. What seems like a century later, I reach the top of the stone steps.

I stop, grasping my sides. Then decide to do an armpit check. *_sniff sniff, sniff sniff_* 'Yep. The deodorant's still working. Good'. Then I look up and see Botan looking at me oddly and I grin at her, embarrassed. I do a full shoulder shrug dramatically, what am I supposed to say? She laughs and pulls me along again.

I look up then and am surprised for yet a second time! This isn't a house at all! It looks like a temple of some sort. This can't be Genkai's place. Where has she taken me?

But there is no time to think as she attempts to drag me inside. Suddenly she stops, full tilt, right before the door (with my heart pounding in nervousness) and says "Uh, you have chocolate, um, right there…" pointing at the tip of my nose. Humiliated at my earlier animalistic behavior, I scrubbed at it with my arm. And before I could ask her if it's all gone, suddenly I find myself shoved roughly inside.

And so these are my first impressions;

It's a large room, squarish with not a lot of furniture or decoration, but instead, filled with people. Well, not people exactly but _young people_, we're different. Or maybe it's just me that's different, as they all look up at me and Botan as we slid the door open to step in...

_AARRRGGGHHHHH!_

I absolutely hate people staring at me. My defenses flare up and my face darkens. I barely manage to stop myself from screaming "**WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"** Yeah, I can be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but so what?

Then Botan opens her mouth and starts talking… and I turn my head towards her and stare... She isn't speaking English anymore and given the country I'm in, I can only assume it's Japanese...

How frustrating! I know she's talking about me, I can tell by the way they are sending more and more curious looks my way. My defenses harden further, and my funky personality evaporates. The older woman nods her head at Botan. The rest just look.

Then Botan turns to me "Ok. So I explained to them a little about finding you and your situation. Genkai is the woman over there (she points to the old woman, with faded punker pink hair), and she says it's fine if you stay." I took at the lady, and am shocked at how much of a 'little old lady' she really is! Just an itty bitty thing, with her hands neatly folded behind her back. But her eyes are sharp as tacks and bore straight through me. Getting irritated at her at first, I remind myself she's letting me crash her place, and force a smile and then kind of inspect my feet a minute to avoid her eyes.

Botan taps me on the shoulder. "Now, I know you can't speak Japanese but I'll still tell you everyone's names. This is Keiko." she starts, pointing to a girl with mouse brown hair. The chic looks really sweet natured and all that, smiling at me with a small wave of her hand, so I smile back.

"This is Yuusuke." Botan says, jerking her thumb next to Keiko, towards a tall lanky boy with ebony hair. He's really quite a looker but he strikes me as a punk too, and when I see the cocky smile on his face I know I'm right. I give him the same look back in challenge. He grins at me then, all teeth.

Giggling, Botan continues "This is Yukina." She says this, pointing in the direction of the other side of the room, where a very short girl with sea green hair and...red eyes(?) stands. The girl is the epitome of kawaii but just doesn't look right, almost like she's not human. 'Not human?' I think to myself 'What a stupid thing to think.' She looks harmless and really sticky sweet, so I mentally kick myself for my thoughts and smile gentle as cotton towards her.

Botan seems not to notice and keeps going "This is Kuwabara." This time she points to a really tall guy for a Japanese, with orange hair curled tight and greased up in some kind of old world biker gang pompadour hairstyle, standing protectively behind Yukina. I almost laugh out loud because I don't know how I didn't notice him behind her when I was looking at her a moment ago. He looks kind of silly with such a seriously old school hairdo and I figure he'll be fun to tease so I give him a mischievous grin in flat out warning.

I think Botan caught my look but she didn't say anything. "This is Kurama." Botan pushes on, pointing to an amazingly hot guy that is way 'too pretty for a guy' with red hair flowing like water past his shoulders and the most gorgeous green eyes I have ever seen. That's a huge weakness of mine, so I can't help smiling like a fool. Those eyes are deep too_, I could really get lost in them..._

Suddenly I snap out of it! I was staring! Ugh! How embarrassing! He smiles at me politely but I can see he noticed. I shift, squeamish and uncomfortable. He's obviously quite intelligent with eyes like those, I'll need to be extra careful around him. So I start by smiling cautiously...

"And finally… " Botan pauses a little too long with a sigh "**this** _is Hiei_." Botan injects this drug out introduction with a strange lilted tone, that seems to hang off the very air, in the uncomfortably quiet moment, as if she had been putting this introduction off. I turned to look at her in question of the strange tone, and then followed with my eyes, the direction her finger pointed towards the wall. And there, away from everyone else, as far away as he could be, I look to see him, this one called Hiei.

I looked him straight in the eyes, red flashing eyes, as he is now looking straight at me~ and _**WHAM**__!_ I feel a bolt of _electricity_ straight through my body! My eyes widen comically. My heart is suddenly slamming in my chest and my mouth falls open. I realize, on some level, that I'm staring but I can't seem to get a hold of myself.

The whole room is silent, _or I just can't hear them_, and I'm chained to his eyes.

But while I stand gaping like a fool, his face remains unreadable. I can feel embarrassment etching deeply into me. Soon, I fear, my whole face will match the color of his eyes! _Unbearable!_ Several minutes past and finally with super human effort I did not know I possessed, I pried my stubborn eyes away from him. Choosing to stare at the floor to save myself, my hands were trembling and my cheeks were flushed. _What the hell is the matter with me?_

I didn't dare look at anyone for fear of giving myself away. God knows what I looked like at that moment. _Probably a complete clown._

I had completely lost control of my emotions and in a room full of strangers at that! What is the world coming to?

Botan must have thought he scared me because she came right over and put her arms around me, saying "It's ok. He's always like that. Don't worry about him..."

Then I hear it, his completely, unexpectedly, deep baritone voice. It just sends delicious tingles through my whole body!

"=Something in Japanese=" Hiei says.

Botan picks her head up quickly looking at him, a stern look caking her features. She got a tone of her own in her voice, retorting back, "=Something in Japanese!=" There was rubbery stiff tension now, that I could feel pulled taunt across my chest, making it way too hard to breathe, in the terminal wait of a translation from her…

But whatever she said or he said I wouldn't know, and I can only continue to look to her to explain...

.

.

._.

.

So, Was it good? How was your first meeting with Hiei? Did it make you happy? If not, tell me why and I'll try to fix it!

*she suddenly slides up next to Hiei*

*he growls*

**HIEI:** Just get this over with!

**ME:** ;D he he he...


	4. Something in Japanese

I can't believe I'm already on the third chapter. And NOPE, I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. BUT.. I'd like to! I'm not sure if anyone is reading these. I hope so. I didn't think I did too bad writing them but I really haven't gotten many reviews so maybe it really does stink. :(

*Kurama puts his arms around my shoulders to comfort me as I hang my head*

*While Hiei sends me images of people printing my story out to wipe their butts with...*

**HIEI**: *speaks to me in my head* 'Well at least your story is good for something'

**ME**: *sending him my own images to his mind of people wiping their butts with his face* 'Well at least your face is good for something as well...'

Oh, By the way, Just so you know. It's starting to get angsty so if you don't like that sort of thing. DON'T READ!

.

._.

.  
_**``=Something In Japanese=''**_**  
**.

_Previously:_

___Then I hear it, his completely, unexpectedly, deep baritone voice. It just sends delicious tingles through my whole body!_

_"=Something in Japanese=" Hiei says._

_Botan picks her head up quickly looking at him, a stern look caking her features. She got a tone of her own in her voice, retorting back, "=Something in Japanese!=" There was rubbery stiff tension now, that I could feel pulled taunt across my chest, making it way too hard to breathe, in the terminal wait of a translation from her…_

_But whatever she said or he said I wouldn't know, and I can only continue to look to her to explain.__..~~~~~  
_  
.

.

.

.

It's like a cold war.

The moment seemed to freeze and hold, an eternal impasse.

I continue to look from Botan to Hiei, hoping if I watch them close enough I can figure out what was said. I have a feeling though, that whatever he said, it _really_ must not have been nice. I feel edgy, _very edgy._ This terminal wait wasn't helping.

Botan seemed disproportionately angry too, in her response to him. And that guy I knew to be trouble, Yuusuke, was stifling a grin. So what could I make of what was going on? Nothing! And the only thing I hate more than being stared at... is being made fun of!

So I turn to the only one I can speak to, clearly _frustrated_. "_What_ did he say Botan?" I mumble in a voice that is eerily calm... like the eye of a hurricane. She looks at me suddenly, slightly startled, like she had forgotten I was there for a moment and managed a weak smile. "Oh, Don't worry about it. It's nothing really. He's just being a jerk, pretty much like always. Ha ha It's too bad you couldn't just meet him later after you'd settled in." she says, in her best imitation of non- chalant.

**I'm not fooled.**

This time, in a voice more stern, I say "No Botan. _Tell me_ what he said...". She begins again to try to brush it off "No really. It's nothing to...". My eyes narrow to small slits, as I fight to control my rapidly rising temper. She stops avoiding to look at me, and picks up that she'd better tell me, that I'm about to explode guts all over this place.

Her eyes shift down. She clearly doesn't want to be the one to say it, as if there were anyone who could take her place. She looks uncomfortable. The red head, having moved nearer to us during all this, says something to her. I can see him from the corner of my eye. I don't know what he said, _of course_, but so what else is new today? She looks at the guy and shakes her head, putting her hand up.

Keeping those two in my peripheral vision, I made sure more to keep that bastard in his long black cloak in my direct line of sight. He has since propped himself against the wall behind him, closing his eyes against me and the room, as if this has now bored him and he's decided to take a nap. And I don't know what it is about him doing that, but for whatever the reason_, it makes me even more agitated._

And I'm not even sure _why_ Botan should be so hesitant anyway. I'm just a stranger after all, it's not like she'd be hurting a close friend. So why drag it out? _Why not just give me the freaking answer? _What's with this build up, like I've stepped into a Horror movie? And if I have stepped into one,_ let me tell you right now, _I know just who's going to be the one who dies _first_…

Her fingers play with each other as she says "Well...if you really need to know_...he said_…" and here she pauses again and I really want to scream. Sighing, resigned, Botan continues "…'Congratulations Botan. You have found someone even more… uhm…uh… stupid then Kuwabara… uh... ahem… At least he can talk'. "

She tells me this barely above a whisper but I hear her clear like she shouted.

My face flushes out with mortification. I hear the tall guy with the funny hair start hollering at Hiei, who still insists on pretending to sleep. The little princess, Yukina tugs on the guy Kuwabara's sleeve, saying something barely above a whisper and the guys' shouts turn to quiet grumbling.

All this going on was with strangers baring witness to this insult towards me! _An insult I couldn't even return, to redeem myself in a crowd of strangers_. **Unforgiveable.**

Then just as quickly I am filled with rage. It bubbles like lava and my blood funnels into a volcano, burning my throat. At this point, I'm sure I'm fully capable of breathing fire. My anger is a dragon awoken.

In four strides I found myself standing in front of him. He, who thought it just fine to pretend I'm no longer here. His eyes had snapped opened like a puppet the moment I had taken my first swift step towards him, but he didn't attempt to run like he should have. That's just as well for me! When I got within inches of him, my hand flashed up to strike him hard, wanting him to taste his own blood on his lip...

**But I never make contact.**

_In fact,_ my hand was only halfway. And there it is still.

It takes a second for me to register in my current violent state that I was unsuccessful. That I had failed. My hand, suspended mid-air mid-way because his hand caught my wrist and I never saw him do it. I never saw him do it, _but he did_… and held it.

I'm pretty fast, and I follow things with my eyes well enough, why didn't I see him snatch me? Why couldn't I have sighted his hand moving and avoid him stopping me? He used his right hand, which had crossed his body to catch mine. It should have been even easier to see! And to my mounting irritation it brought his face even closer to my own.

The tough and callused skin of his hand startled me. Its unexpected roughness scratching my wrist almost painfully. My hand twitched to recoil but could not move.

_And so there we two were_, in such a short period of time, joined together, as if engaged in some kind of ballroom dance. He in the lead, locked in the unforgiving embrace of each others' eyes. But this time, it was even more intense. So very close to him, my body pulsed with the thought of being touched by any part of his.

He was my height or just ever so slightly taller, or maybe that was just his crazy hair that swayed in chunks in all directions. Our eyes were level. Both of us, deeply scowled. I bared teeth, his lips pulled taunt and thin, our mutual and unconcealed expressions of violence. Neither of us, were going to give.

I stared hard into his red eyes and my brain slipped, started to grow hazy, registering that depthless red that seemed alive as the color shifted, glinting darker here and there. And in that moment, I slightly lost my footing in looking intimidating. But still, I was sure my own were flashing as well.

My hand, of its own accord, still struggled _wildly_ against his, like a captured butterfly. It was just itching to complete its task. I wanted to hurt him so bad. _So bad. _**Right now**. But he was strong. Much stronger then I would have guessed initially, he had looked so slight in that long coat. So undefined. I had considered it easy to take him.

But now it had become clear _that I had badly miscalculated._ He held my hand fast and effortlessly, with such a tight grip, my fingertips had started to lose feeling and could no longer struggle much. His fingers wrapped so hard around my flesh, it burned from his touch. Who's body temperature runs that high? Does he carry a fever with him?

_I tried to ignore it. _

I wanted to focus on my anger. But the burn trailed down my arm, as if it were a living thing. As if it were some kind of poisonous snake that drug its fangs down me, as it continued further. He was so close to me now, _and he just radiated heat_. I was starting to sweat. It was making the feeling worse as my body absorbed it. I was starting to feel nauseous and then, unexpectedly with it came the sweet redeeming scent of pine needles and waterfalls_. He smelled so wild._

And it hit me.

_The desire_. As frightening as it was unexpected. Curling in my stomach and sinking its claws through my body. Everything about him was like a feral animal. Rabid and foaming, but so vivid in its unrefined beauty. I licked my lips self consciously as my body raged war against itself. If I stepped in flames, I couldn't burn more hot than I am at this moment. I wanted to claw him to pieces. I wanted to kiss him. God... _I've just got to get away._

I snatch my hand backwards away from him, or maybe he decided to release it, I can't be sure.

I stepped back from him.

Never breaking eye contact once, my body involuntarily shivered, finding itself suddenly without his heat. Then I abruptly turned my stiff back to him and came face to face with the most unpleasant fact that everyone was still very much in the room with us two..._staring at me in open shock. _

Besides whatever I may hate of this fact, it, at least, works to break the trance I was in.

Humiliation, would never accurately described how I felt right at this moment, but my face was a flash flood of red embarrassment, wondering how long this was going on.

I did what I could to quickly gain control of myself enough to make my face impassive and walked casually to Botan. In a voice too calm to really be mine, I hear myself say "Sorry about that! You know, I think I'd like to take a quick walk. It's kind of stuffy in here. I'll be back in a short while for dinner, ok?"

Flashing her a hollow smile, without a clue of how I managed it, I saunter out like nothing happened.

But that's a lie. I know it. And she knows it.

I quicken my pace once I reach the outside. The anger has passed. I really try to cling to it because I know what's coming to replace it once it is gone. The very thing I have tried to deny the moment I heard his words_...the hurt_. He had hurt me.

I mentally slap myself. How can he have hurt me? It's certainly not the worst thing someone has ever said to me. And I don't even know him. So, it doesn't make sense. It isn't true_... it isn't_.

I kept telling myself that he didn't hurt me. It's all in my imagination! I don't care what he says to me or about me. "You can't hurt me!" I growl but it only comes out a whisper as I speak to the wind and the image of him in my mind. "I won't let you..."

*click*

._.

*click*

There were thick rushes of trees outside the temple.

At this point, I'd wandered through heavy trees like a forest and into a clearing. The moon had come and is bright against me. I look up at it, as two large tears form at corners of my fierce eyes, then fall. I slash at them with the backs of my hands but choke as the hurt spreads its roots through my chest. This clearing feels too open_. I feel too vulnerable._

I practically run now to get as far from Genkai's temple as possible. I don't know where I'm going, or if I can find my way back but if I can't stop myself from crying at least they won't have the pleasure of knowing...  
.

.

*click*

._.

*click*

.

.  
It took me too long to get a hold of myself. It seemed even longer to find my way back. Now I find myself hiding in the trees just before Genkai's temple.

I'm not sure how to handle the situation once I step back inside. Or maybe even, if I shouldn't just leave this place now? Maybe that's the best idea I've had all day? It's not really like I belong here, right?

At least, no one can bother me about it if I do go back in, since they don't speak English but I can't seem to get the frown off my face. It stays there stubbornly, an obvious advertisement of my feelings and that just isn't working for me. I feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes and threatening to come back full force. So I bite down on my lip HARD. I don't know why, but it works. Thank god the tears retreat but now my lip is bleeding. Great...

I'm just about to take that hard first step forward when I feel a hand softly grip my shoulder and I almost scream. I spin around and nearly fall backwards.

That Karama guy is there, grabbing my arm to steady me. I shudder in recoil of being seen like this. But he acts like nothing went on, and looks straight into my eyes, smiling apologetically at me. But why he would be apologizing, I can't guess. _What did he do?_ So far as I can tell, he never really said much either. I cast my eyes downward, suddenly ashamed that he might see that I've been crying. His eyes seem to see far too much as far as I'm concerned, and I'm extremely aware of that right now.

His thin tapered fingers gently tilt my face up. Holding up a single finger with its perfect nail, he indicated that he would like me to watch a moment. I wonder what other choice he thinks I have right now when I'm trapped between him and going back inside?

I'm waiting for recriminations or laughter or sneering at having caught me like this but then he takes his hand and reaches into the back of his hair and pulls out the most beautiful rose I have ever seen. Even in the faint moonlight its perfection is unmistakable, and completely unnatural. I figure it must be a fake then, but what I don't get, is where he hid such a large and blooming rose? I laugh, relieved, surprised and annoyed at the undue stress all at once. _Apparently I have a Houdini wanna be before me._

He takes the rose and pushes my hair back behind my ear. I shiver in surprise at the direct and intimate touch. And then he tucks the rose behind it as well. I smile my first real smile today, at such a nice gesture. I really needed that right now. Holding his arm out, how can I not forget my situation and take it?

Happy not to have to go in alone, I foolishly allow him to lead me back into the lion's den that is Genkai's home.

And I have a feeling that later, I may think back on this and how easily he pulled me along, and find myself suddenly very sure I've encountered a reincarnation of The Piped Piper.

*click*

._.

*click*

As I anticipated, everyone looks at me.

But I've already braced myself for this and have a smile plastered on my face as I look through everyone. Kurama doesn't stop long enough to let me stew, but leads me straight to the dining room, making a beeline to my seat. He sits down next to me with great and careful patience and clearly practiced obliviousness to all the stares and unasked questions, as he waited for everyone else to follow our lead. This guy is a wonder and I think to myself I ought to steal this page of his personality from him!

Botan cautiously came over and sits next to me. She is not nearly as clear as to how to deal with this blow out with a stranger she was the one responsible for bringing. I feel bad about the whole thing, but is it really my fault?

She says "Enigma, Are you ok?" And I am feeling a little more in control now than I was when I left, so I put up my _'the world is a happy place'_ face and say "Yeah? Why wouldn't I be? You should have come with me on my walk. The night is just beautiful!" She looks at me like perhaps I've lost it. And I can't even begin to say how glad I am when she smiles slightly and turns away to talk to Yukina, deciding to let it go for now.

Everyone comes to the table and settles in.

I continue smiling and smiling.

I turned myself into a puppet. I turned myself into a jester. _I've turned myself into a joke. _Here's me, made in alabaster plaster, the statue girl. Ah ha… yeah…

*click*

._.

*click*

They talk to each other. I zone out. Botan keeps turning to me to tell me the funny things they're saying, but as everyone knows, it's never quite as funny the second time as when it was first said.

So I giggle when I think I'm supposed to and she buys it so I must be pretty convincing. When that doesn't seem to be enough, I fight with my chopsticks, managing to ping more people with my rice, then I can seem to make into my mouth. Everyone pretends not to notice. Everyone seems to have entirely forgotten the previous incident. They talk and laugh and eat amongst themselves.

Maybe I should be insulted, but I'm able to relax somewhat.

Well, actually I should say ALMOST everyone. I can feel two people's eyes still on me. One of them is Kurama. I really don't mind him at all but, like I noticed before, he seems to see and notice everything so I can't really look at him right now, now can I? I know I should also be suspicious of how he found me, but I'm not up for facing more unpleasant feelings. I ignore.

And speaking of what I can ignore, there is the other person_... him_. Yes, I won't look at him. I haven't looked at him since I came back. But I can feel that horrid sensation of awareness. My skin is prickling_. He's looking at me._

What I just can't figure out, is why? Does he want to continue the fight, is that what he's doing? Trying to start something with me? Antagonize me? Waiting for an opportunity? Just knowing that his eyes are on me, makes me instantly nervous. I can feel the heat creeping into my cheeks as well.

And I find myself in a horrible position. I both want this whole thing to be over, and yet, _strangely_, I never want it to end. I don't understand myself. In the end, it's really just torture. And the clock on the wall agrees with me, as it ticks 3 times too slow.

*click*

._.

*click*

Dinner reaches its end.

I've managed to push my food with the wooden sticks around enough that it looks like I ate. I help clean up the dishes and food as way to appreciate a place to stay, as much as to escape him. The girls are much easier company. They seem to be having so much fun talking amongst themselves that I think to myself that I really must learn Japanese as quickly as possible so I can join in!

But when the cleanings' done, with nothing else to do, they start turning their attention more directly to me. This is my cue to beat a hasty retreat before something else can happen. I turn to Botan and yawn, "Where can I sleep Botan? I'm really wiped out! It's been a very chaotic day!"

Outside, I laugh.

But inside I'm thinking 'I need a break from... him'. She probably thinks it's too early but thankfully keeps it to herself, telling me to go past the living room to the hallway and make a right. "It's the last door on the left. I'll check on you in a little while." she chirps. Then Keiko starts talking to her, allowing me to easily escape.

_I take a deep breath._

All I have to do is walk through the living room with the guys in it and I'm home free...

From exactly what I'm running from, I skillfully block my mind.

1...2...3...

I plaster my _'happy face'_ on and walk through. The guys, they glance my way, but nothing more. **Good.** Hiei isn't even with them. **Even better!**

Things are finally starting to look up! I can feel myself relax just a little, for the first time all day. The worst has to be over, right?

Just as I'm about to reach the hallway, I feel a slight breeze tease my dress. I shiver heavily, getting goose bumps. Jerking around to find its cause and brace myself if necessary, I turn back to see the window open. Just a breeze! It's just a night breeze! Ha ha. I'm so stupid! I'm all jumpy and jittery for nothing! What, have I got a big fat yellow stripe running up my back, or what? Ha ha!

Kurama looks up and studies me. Feeling unnerved by it, I smile, and turn away, back towards the hall. It was obvious where it came from! Why am I being so paranoid and jumpy? Really, I should just relax!

Shrugging at my unwarranted paranoia, _I step into the hallway._

Man is it dark! Where are the lights?

I feel for switch but there's nothing but smooth wall and I'm afraid I might scratch some ancient painting in this old temple and get myself in real hot water, so I give up on the light. How hard can it be to find the room at the end of the hall?

The only light then for me to use, is coming from the nighttime moon streaming in from the windows. It helps but mostly everything is in shadow. Kinda spooky, I admit. And despite my bravado from moments before, my senses go on alert.

I pad my way half way down the hallway, before I start feeling stupid again and I severely chastise myself! I'm not a child anymore! Get it together girl! This is a temple FULL of people. It's a freaking hallway for god's sake! How dangerous could it be?

I take the palms of my hands and slap both my cheeks hard several times to buck myself up. They sting and smart sharply, and I laugh at myself. I straighten my spine and step further into the darker parts of the shadows…

See? **SEE?** _Nothing happened you big yellow chicken!_

I keep going.

The darkest part is right before the door. Almost there! No sweat!

But then.. _but then!_ My eyes jerk startled and I rear back hard when I suddenly swear the dark itself _has moved_, and then…

_**someone grips my wrist...**__  
_.

.  
._.

.

.

WOW! Yeah! I did it! I finished another chapter. I'm really on a roll! Wanna know the sad part? I really don't even know where I'm going with this! I'm just writing whatever my fingers feel like! So it's exciting for me too! I don't know what's going to happen anymore then you do! LOL

**KURAMA**: Um… I don't mean to spoil your inspiration. It's a very nice story but...umm... isn't it supposed to be your character and Hiei not me?

**HIEI**: Shut up Kitsune!

**ME**: Oh, I'm sorry Hiei, do you feel shafted? Don't worry. It's still all about you. Kurama just has a large role here cuz he was kind enough to save your butt when you hurt all the poor characters feelings, readers can be rabid if they relate to her. AND… AFTER ALL, if he hadn't done, that my guess would be that you would have been castrated by one of them by now...

**HIEI**: O_O;;;;;;;


	5. Vertigo

Ok! So, on a boring note: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Duh...

Hope that clarifies things. I also love that some of you are giving me your thoughts on where the story should or could go or what parts got to you. To me, it means you can really get into it and it gets your imagination going. That's really a compliment! So feel free to let me know your ideas, I may just include them!

Oh, and my way of writing is to hint to things without directly telling you. I realize sometimes that it can be hard to follow, so if you are so inclined feel free to email me with questions and I'll try to clear them up!

**HIEI**: That's enough out of you!

**ME**: ? What do you mean?

**HIEI:** Baka!

**ME:** Are you impatient? I have time. I'm not in a rush.

**HIEI**: *from behind me he leans against my ear and drops his voice low* Get it done...

**ME:** O_O;;;; .Wow. That was definitely a threat. Or... he's turning into a redneck! XD

***THUMP***

*Hiei hits me hard on the back of the head with the hilt of his katana*

**ME**: X.X …

**HIEI**: That will teach you to call me any type of disgusting human…

*Hiei continues to glare down at me, even though I'm out cold*  
.

.

._.

_**``Vertigo''**_**  
**.

Previously:  
_  
~~~~~_ See? **SEE?** _Nothing happened you big yellow chicken!_

I keep going.

The darkest part is right before the door. Almost there! No sweat!

But then.. _but then!_ My eyes jerk startled and I rear back hard when I suddenly swear the dark itself _has moved_, and then…

_**someone grips my wrist...**__.~~~~~  
_

_._

_._._

.

It was a contact, so sudden and unexpected, that it frightened me so deeply that I bolted sideways.

My eyes widening into globes, my mouth opened in a silent scream as the back of my head collided with some hard metal object on the wall behind me. Immediately, colored stars of bright light covered my vision, a lightning streak of pain exploded in the center of my brain. And so there's no time to see who grabbed me as the world drips into something visually fuzzy, then black as I sink unto the floor...  
.

.

_(there's a mechanical snap and a hard click, as the recorder hits its corner on the floor, a chipped piece of plastic skids and comes to a rest against a hard wall)_

.

._.

*cliaaick* _(the recorder doesn't sound so good)_

_._

Opening my eyes, _I can't focus_. Everything is a blur of color and light.

My brain is on, but no one is home.

I stare blankly against a white surface in front of my eyes, unable to think. What am I? What's going on? Why am I here? These are vague questions where any answer at all would do and I can't seem to answer _anything_. I don't know what to even really ask myself, there's just a drone of several minutes as I try to connect the dots in my head and reboot my brain one more time.

Slowly, small thoughts come together and hold hands. I remember there should be others… _maybe_. I tell my mouth to open but can't. Can't seem to form words or call out to someone. And am I really sure there would there be anyone to hear me, if I could? _I just don't know._

_It's freaking me out._

Trying to think..._it hurts so bad I could cry_. This skull I'm trapped in, it's just pounding and throbbing wildly. It's got a life of its own now. I seriously wonder if my head isn't split in two. And really, on most days, I seem to be dumber than a box of rocks, so what do I do? I try raise my hands to my head to check. As if I'd actually want to know!

Don't know if it's good luck or bad luck, but I can't seem to move them. My arms are just soooo heavy.

So here I am and it's so painful to think. It's so painful to move. **It's just so painful**. But I have to!

What happened anyway? Think. _THINK!_ Oh yeah. …

Am I still on the floor? What if I'm bleeding to death and no one comes?

Clearly I'm not in a position to do a damn thing about it. I close my eyes, hoping it will help them to focus when I open them again. That's when I hear the ringing in my ears. First sound to come back and it's just making my head scream! I really don't like to cry but maybe I'll have to make an exception in this case. The pain is unreal. And absolutely unrelenting. And I can't stop it. I'm not sure how much I can take. I think _'I can take it for awhile but it...I..._'.

A wave of nausea hits me.

I fight it. Trying to relax till it passes, I really don't need to deal with that right now but I know it came because of the pain. I feel my eyes welling up. It actually helps to make them feel better so I don't fight it.

Then, it's the weirdest thing, _but gradually_, the pain starts to subside some. I'm feeling a little better.

So I begin to unclench all the muscles in my body I never remember clenching in the first place. And that takes some of the pressure off my head, the pain fading to a dull ache.

And with it, the ringing of my ears also slowly quiets. The world comes back to me.

I hear, for the first time, voices. Many voices actually, all around me! So they found me, did they? _'I_ _guess my humiliation wasn't bad enough earlier, I've managed to make it worse!'_ I scold myself, obviously feeling better if I can joke again.

I make the second attempt to open my eyes. My vision is still blurred but carefully starts to come back together.

I'm not on the floor at all!

I'm on a bed now. And there are people all around me just like I thought. People. Yes, 1..2..3..4..5...6..7..8. What a crowd!

I don't even expect this big a crowd at my funeral! And all I did was bop myself on the head! _'How many of the group of people would come if I broke a leg' _I wondered. I find myself grinning at my own jokes. I glance casually around the room to take in my current surroundings.

Suddenly my eyes halt. There across the room in the corner_...is Hiei_. Was I looking for him? Have I brought him upon myself?

He is leaning against the wall, staring at the floor with his hands in his pockets, looking for all the world like a lost soul. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was concerned.

But that's a laugh! I wished I had something to throw at him! I can't stand him! Why does he even have to be here? Did he come back to throw more insults? To kick me when I'm down? If he thinks I'm going to be an easy target for bullying, he's going to get a nasty awakening! He may have some strength to him that I didn't expect but I'm sure I can still kick his a$$!

Anytime you a$$hole! **ANY** **TIME****!**

And then, as if on cue with my concentrated thoughts on his face, he picks his head up and meets my gaze. I stiffen immediately and drop my eyes, suddenly thoroughly shaken._ 'How does he do that? Why does his direct unblinking gaze manage to give me the willies? How did he know the moment I was looking at him?'_ I'm stammering to myself.

To shake off the disconcerting feeling and fright, I begin to chastise myself that I'm being overly dramatic. But then stop _'No! I know what I saw! He looked up at me, just as I looked at him and his eyes didn't look surprised at all but as if he knew very well that I was looking at him.'_ I don't know where this absolute certainty came from right at this moment, but I know myself well enough to trust it._ It leaves me very confused in its wake though..._

Everyone was standing about the room in groups talking quietly amongst themselves. Me, I was just lying there, still not having uttered a single word. To be honest, I wasn't sure I could speak after my last failed attempt and I was afraid my lips would slur and I'd sound like the town idiot. I've been the town idiot enough in the last day, thank you very much!

But they were so quiet and solemn themselves, in fact, that I begin to wonder if I'm not really dead? Wouldn't Hiei have said something, having looked right at me, and saw me looking? If he didn't maybe I'm just dead. Just dead, and floating and thinking I'm still here and looking at him, but I wasn't? I don't know. Talking to myself in circles isn't fixing anything but_ I just don't know._

And neither do I know if it was a terrifying few minutes _or much longer_ before Botan sees me looking around and comes to my side, Yukina close behind her. My eyes grow wet with relief, that someone is acknowledging I exist. They stare down, their hair falling forward in sections like pink and blue icicles, partially obscuring their faces. Mostly, I see hair and eyes and that is enough for me.

Then Genkai comes along the other side of my bed, pushing Kuwabara away and rests a hand on my forehead. It is cold and hard. My head hurts from it and I look at her, wishing to tell her to take it away. She smiles at me, oblivious. Why choice do I have? I smile back, slightly.

All this attention, I don't like it. Not like this anyways. It makes me very nervous.

_I'm not dying_. I've just cracked my head, _that's all. It's not a big deal._ What are they? A paranoid lot? That's all I need, to be dead center of a bunch of worry warts!

That almost makes me laugh. My humor mercifully kicks back in and I could just picture it now: Everyone standing there with their heads hung low, wringing their hands together, "Oh dear, Oh dear". I started to really laugh as this image played itself out in my mind. But as the sound left my throat it rattled my whole head, sending wave after wave of pain and I moan. Closing my eyes as nausea washes over me once again.

I wait impatiently for it to pass.

I don't want all this attention. I'm not some weak thing. I've always prided myself on how strong I am and I'll let nothing destroy that image of myself! I look up at Botan and get brave. I say "Hey Botan! What's up with entourage?" For effect, I grin stupidly. She looks a little relieved at the sound of my voice.

Ignoring my quirk, she asks quietly "How are you feeling Enigma?"

So I ignore her unwanted concern. I'm tired of the game now "What do you mean? I've just bumped my head! It's stupid, really. It's not a big deal. Why is everyone acting so freaky?"

Botan looks incredulously at me and my, apparently, stupid statement.

For the first time, she looks annoyed, her mouth twisting tightly up one side. She says "You did more than just 'bump' it! We're surprised you didn't knock it entirely off your shoulders! We thought you had fallen into a coma but Yukina here managed to heal you with her healing powe-!" Botan slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as saucers.

I didn't miss a beat "_Healing powers_?" But even as I asked, I vehemently wished I hadn't. I knew _exactly_ what she meant.

Apparently, Yukina is one of those religious freaks that is so far into their own delusion that they believe that they can actually heal someone by touching them! I've read the news about them! I've seen the TV evangelist shows! It's a damn circus with these people and they're always looking for new suckers! **Well, I'm not going to be her latest victim damn it!**

And she's obviously got the whole group convinced she can too! She didn't look the type but... _I guess you never really know someone_. So, having been around these crazied types before, I can guess what's coming next...a big overly dramatic sermon and I am NOT in the mood.

So I quickly say, in a little of a panic, "Uh! Yeah, sure! Gee, Thanks Yukina for all your help, _**rrreeeaaally**_! But please **no** sermons right now!"

Botan translates for me. And I find that almost in unison, as if they had practiced it, everyone turns to stare at me. A crowd of thoroughly confused looks, especially Yukina. But as confused as she is, her face drops into a gentle smile and she said something to me. Botan repeats what she's said "Oh. It was nothing! Whatever I can do to help! I'm glad you feel better."

I smile back. '_Good!_' I think _'I've placated her. And saved myself from a lot of talking! Good thing I think fast!'_

They keep looking at me like they expect more of a reaction out of me after Yukinas' big 'reveal'. I just don't understand this group. They are SOOO weird. It's like they're hiding something from me... '_Oh my god! Have I landed myself in the middle of the Mason family?_'' I start to panic. But I figure I might as well relax, if they are, there's not a lot I can do about it at this moment.

And Holy Crap! What a day! It just won't end!

I want to get some sleep.

I really am quite worn out at this point and I figure the easiest way to get them to leave is to prove I'm alright. So I quickly sit up and go to swing my legs over the side and stand up all in one swift graceful motion...

And my world goes _vertigo_...right before I pass out.  
.

(there's a mumble of foreign voices on the tape for awhile)

._.

*cliiiii….cliii… cliic**kK***

.  
When I finally come to, I've learned my lesson and stay still, slowly opening my eyes this time.

I'm kind of surprised to see it's dark in the room now. The light is out and no one is in here anymore. _Thank god for small favors_. So I lay there and stare at the popcorn ceiling, counting holes till the pain of having my eyes even being open gets to be too much.

I am still hurting bad and opening my eyes seemed to make it worse. How much damage did I do? Botan said I really hit my head hard, but now that I think I have control of my arms again, I'm kind of chicken to reach back and feel my head. What if it's shaved and laced with thick black stitches! I'm too young to be that ugly! My social life would be over! **OVER, I TELL YOU!**

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I'm already imagining the nicknames people would give me, and I haven't even checked my head yet! _'Baldy! Wig girl! Frankenstein…'_

'_Shut UP Enigma!_' I think. All this thinking about it and self mockery is just making it hurt worse. I close my eyes but like an avalanche, once started it only builds. And dummy that I was to aggravate my condition, sharp pain returns, stabbing at my brain. It's like a knife being sawed up and down in my head. I'm trying so hard not to cry out, _'I'm not weak... I'm not..._' But the pain doesn't care and my eyes fill up behind my eyelids and a tear leaks out, blazing a trail down my cheek.

I feel it slowly creeping down and wait for it to fall off but it never makes it.

Instead, I feel a rough hot fingertip press against my cheek to stop it, than brush it away. Startled out of my skin, my eyes snap open in panic... _**then pain! **_

And there standing over me, looking almost like nothing more than a shadow, _is him_. He was not scowling, but still, his face _is unreadable_. My skin crawls with uncertainty and being alone in the dark with him, helpless.

But he's only watching me, _just watching me._

What does he want from me? _What the hell does he want?_

I feel the angst washing back over me from before_... he was so close_. The tears starting in my eyes... it's just me and him. Is this good? Is this bad? Have I unwittingly called him? Is it me that wants something from him, and I tether him to me? Is this somehow my fault?

None of this makes any sense? He's not angry, that I can tell anyways. But so what then?

He seems so untouchable... _pine needles and waterfalls_.

It's too much to think of this kind of thing right now. I can't handle this right now, my body is already damaged. I just can't tolerate any more pain. I barely choke out above a whisper "Please...just go... no wait... _don't leave_..."

My heart clenches. I didn't mean to admit, not to anything, and not to him. What if he can somehow understand?

I moan loudly as the pain consumes me, pulling me away from all other thoughts, as I close my eyes.

I feel him leaving. And I want to reach out to **stop him**. But I have no control of myself. And more tears stream down in his absence, though I don't anymore if it's from the pain or because of him...

Yukina comes in, her voice softly speaking, and then I feel weird.

I can't open my eyes but I don't want to anyway. I feel light for a moment, as if my body has melted off my bones, then the pain starts to subside. I don't question it. _I'm beyond exhausted._

I hear her leave the room again.

And just as I'm about to drift off into an empty and mindless sleep, I hear a deep deep voice, I swear I recognize, from the foot of my bed say softly…

"=_Something in Japanese=_"…

before unconsciousness claims me again...

.

.

._.

.

.

And here I am at another end. It's taking me forever. I don't know how long it will take to finish this story. I hope I'm not boring anyone! I'll try to pick up the pace though. The story just seems to have a mind of its own and I can only get as far as it lets me. How sad...I'm a slave to my own work...*large anime tears*

**HIEI:** I decided I can tolerate this story... *said while his eyes are cast sideways, clearly refusing to look at me*  
**  
ME:** You really like it? -O- _ -O- I... I don't know what to say... Than...thank you Hiei!

**HIEI**: I didn't say that! Baka...  
**  
ME:** *clearly not listening and singing to myself* Hi-ei likes my stor-y...Hi-ei likes my stor-y...

***THUMP***

*Hiei hits me hard on the back of the head with the hilt of his katana*

**ME**: X.X …


	6. But maybe, it just isn't with you

"Here we gooooo- Going through the same thing...HERE WE GO AGAIN!" -Boys to Men. I love that song! (ok, just that line) And no, I don't claim to own this song or Yu Yu Hakusho. Just the story. Oh! AND the 3 line poem at the beginning of this chapter!

Back again. But then again. It doesn't ever really seem like I leave...

**ME**: You're really going to like this chapter Hiei.

**HIEI**: hn. Why? o_O

**ME:** Why don't you read my mind and find out? :)

**HIEI:** Never. You're disgusting and twisted and I have no intention of looking in there again.

**ME**: I don't know what you mean. _YOU'RE_ the bad boy...  
**  
HIEI: **=hissing= Don't tempt me to put you out of your misery.

.

.

._.

.

.

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_**"But maybe, it just isn't with you..."**_**  
**.

.

.

_Previously:_

_I can't open my eyes but I don't want to anyway. I feel light for a moment, as if my body has melted off my bones, then the pain starts to subside. I don't question it. __I'm beyond exhausted._

_I hear her leave the room again._

_And just as I'm about to drift off into an empty and mindless sleep, I hear a deep deep voice, I swear I recognize, from the foot of my bed say softly…_

_"=__Something in Japanese=__"…_

_before unconsciousness claims me again...__~~~~~  
_.

.

.

_"Maybe, it is what it isn't_

Or, it isn't what it is

_**But maybe**__, it just isn't, with you..."  
_

_._

_._

*click*

.

.

I can't believe it.

The tape recorder's just fine! I thought it had really gotten damaged, but the button clicks down no problem now._ It's weird _but it's a terrible weight that's finally been lifted off me. I couldn't believe I'd already practically broken it for good. I was horrified and kicking myself. The button wasn't really wanting to stay down anymore _but now it's working like new?_

I didn't know what I was going to do if it didn't work anymore.

I know that I'm supposed to be talking to my future self and all, but right now I have to admit, it's like the close friend I don't have anymore. It's all that's standing between me and feeling completely isolated in this cracked up place and around these wacked out people. And yeah, I'm not exaggerating about the whole thing with them, I'm actually being _reeeaalllyyyy _nice about it! ha ha

I slid it into my jacket pocket and pat it fondly, like a dog. It's safe and sound now_… I hope_.

I guess I should be wondering why it's ok, but I'll take my miracles where ever I can get them! _HALLELUJAH!_ And all that jazz…

Speaking of… you know, this forest is really pretty.

The dappled sunlight is leaking through the high high treetops that I almost can't see, even with my head stretched all the back to look up. I'm letting my fingers get scrapped as I reach out and touch the trees I'm walking by. The bark seems to almost reach back at me to hold on, as my skin gets caught.

I forget how much I love nature.

Particularly, I've got a thing for really wild areas. They smell so...well, earthy! I see in the darker patches, thick thrushes of mushrooms growing straight out the wetter sides of darkly shaded trees. They look like little families of arms with the hands bunched into fists, or maybe little people with wide brimmed hats bowing forward.

They glow a ghostly white blue from the deep shade. And I'm convinced it's magic. I'm enthralled. It's almost like I've entered the fairy kingdom of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.

'But if so,' I laugh to myself 'who's playing the horses' ass?'

Still giggling to myself, I stepped further along,

I see where some trees have fallen and the light had found its way in, in large irregular circles of bright light as if the forest had spotlights for a theatre. Where ever the light touched, there were thick patches of emerald colored grass shooting up in thick abundance and…and… _flowers!_ Not common weeds, but daisies! There was an innocent bunch of wild daisies! How could I resist? I bent down to pick up a daisy for my hair and as I came up…_** I jump**_, crashing back on my backside!

_**Hiei stands before me**_**.**

_"H… he.. hello..."_ I say, a little uncertain, clinging to my little flower, as if it could shield me.

I stare at him, quite startled but not nearly as unnerved as I feel I should be. But I just can't muster any really weariness or fear. I register that **that** is what is_ really_ strange, but what am I supposed to do about it?

Hiei, however, doesn't show any signs of consternation at finding me here. And as _very_ odd as that is, _even stranger_, he looks at me widely, _without any smirk at all_. I stare up at him, how can I not? This moment seems unprecedented!

"Hello." he says back never once letting his eyes leave mine. I blink**, **_**then blink again**_. I scratch at my neck nervously.

"You c..can talk?" I stammer, feeling my throat dry out like the Gobi desert. The serene look he had evaporates into thin air and is immediately replaced with deep impatience and irritation. _Ooops_, I blew that serenity, didn't I?_ I guess I shouldn't have even breathed…_

"Of course I can talk! _Can't you_?" he practically snarls. My eyes well up, way too ready to spill over. That comment really sounds familiar but I can't think of why that would bother me so much. And with that thought, the residual feelings of despair that were just there, _now disappear_. Maybe it's the magic of the mushrooms?

So I look at him placidly and say "No. That's not what I meant. It's just that, well.. um… how can you suddenly speak _English?_".

He smirks "No. The question **is**, How do _YOU _suddenly speak _Japanese?_"

He crossed his arms tightly across his chest and his sleeveless dark blue shirt is pulled taunt across the muscles of him, defining them completely. His black cloak is nowhere to be seen. I feel my breath catch, and mentally smack myself for tracing those muscles with my eyes instead keeping them on his face.

'Enigma! _You fool!_ Don't let him _KNOW_ he rattles you! Stupid! _STUPID!_' I rail at myself and force my eyes to stay trained on his face, against their will. But it's far **far** too late, it's clear he's already caught me. As his smirks deepens, _perceptibly_.

I scowl. _I bunch up in a hiss_. "I **can't**!" I say, getting really irritated at being at a distinct disadvantage. And throwing caution to the wind, I snap viciously "it's obvious we're speaking _Ennngggllliiissshhh_!"

"Is this some kind of trick?" he barks with that nerve wracking tone of his, coming right up to my face.

But fool or not, I won't back down. "**That's** a good question!" I snarl right back, suddenly much happier to be on hostile ground, instead of fighting embarrassment at being caught _lusting_ after him.

In the choice between standing there and fighting Hiei or fighting the embarrassment of being caught red handed, pathetically gawking… _yeeeaaaahhhhh, I'd definitely rather fight him!  
_

We both stand there too long and realize that neither will confess to a damn thing, _so whatever._ I turn from him suddenly and go to walk off into the woods, _out of this clearing_ and **away from him**!

But I don't even get more than a step before he grabs my hand, bringing me to a sudden and definitive halt. I whip around, yanking my hand like a snake caught by the tail. "_What_?" I hiss, "What do you want from me?" I'm suddenly full of nerves, prickly and cactus like. He doesn't answer me though, nor even does he even make eye contact.

But treating it as if this were some kind of every day normal thing, he just steps alongside me?

When I don't move, but stand there obstinate, he pulls me along as a ragdoll till I finally fall into pace beside him. I'm resentful at being drug alongside against my will, but he isn't looking back at me at all to antagonize me and I figure I'm curious to see where he wants me to go with him. So, I stop struggling and follow, suddenly fairly docile. I don't know what's with this, this really isn't me.

As we step into the woods, it gets very dark and shadowed.

I don't remember it looking this dark from the clearing we just left, but it's ok. _I'm not alone_.

Strange, that I should suddenly find his presence so comforting. He's no prince charming at all! I don't for one moment believe he would save me even from so much as a flea. If anything, I could see him actually rooting for whatever was after me! Yeah, he's much more a mischievous Puck making the world a worse place purely for his own amusement. That's my thoughts on it, and I'm sticking to them!

Still, I hold onto his hand_. I glance at him_. 'He really is attractive' I think. I hadn't really noticed it before now. Or maybe more, I'd not been this close to him without wanting to rip his face off. But now, as I look closely, his skin is so incredibly smooth, like a bowl of cream resting on a table. There isn't a single line anywhere! Like a child's. Smooth and rounded. The skin everywhere else on him so taut and fluid against his muscles, it all has such an unreal even tone. A doll. A statue. No, it almost looks unearthly, _angelic even_.

Then my eyes go wide. I hadn't thought of it before! _Maybe he's an angel!_ He certainly doesn't act normal! Then I snarl into a full laugh at myself.

Man, Am I on crack or what! An angel my a$$! If _ANYTHING_, this bastard is a devil! Lucifer! If demons exist on earth, this a$$hole **is it!**

Hell! He'd probably enjoy being called some kind of demon_, jerk that he is_! Demons are too good an image for him! Like I'd give him the privilege of calling him one!_ Maybe I hit my head_! I begin to laugh!

Then I remember something_... I… I did hit my head, didn't I?_ I reach up to feel my head and it feels fine. _How very very strange, I thought they said I really cracked my head open, but there's nothing there at all, not even a bump..._

Then I look up confused, so deep in my thoughts that I had no idea when we had stopped walking. I'm standing there and Hiei is standing in front of me again... _just staring_.

_Just staring… so quiet… _

Blank with confusion, I stare back. "What's the matter?" I ask gently, my voice embarrassingly hoarse. But he just takes my hand that had fallen limp at my side and starts walking with me again.

And for some strange reason, in that moment I know I'll just go where ever he leads me_, so long as he has my hand. _

We then step into another clearing ahead.

This one isn't just some small spot but _huge_. It's large enough to place a building in. And there, to the left, against those trees over a little ways, I see the international representative from my graduation party! I'd recognize that crazy bat anywhere! She's standing there shock still behind her makeshift table with the pamphlets dumped haphazardly all over it in mass confusion.

"Why is she out _**here**_?" I wonder out loud, not really talking to Hiei, per say.

I decide to try to make some sense of it and start to go over to her, to ask her that very question. She doesn't even seem to see me but just stares straight ahead off into the trees. But as soon as I start walking I find myself no more than two steps before I'm jerked to an unceremonious stop.

Hiei isn't following along with me and my curiosity, and we are still connected by our hands.

I should just try to let go and make it easy on myself to move but I_… I don't know why_, but it seems really important to keep his hand. So, what instead? But that I try to drag him along.

It's like pulling dead weight.

No, I'm not kidding! **Dead. Weight.** Is this guy made out of cement or something? I didn't even think he weighed that much! He's like a compact machine of pure steele and concrete muscles.

I turn to look at him _and he's still staring at me_ but says nothing about my efforts to pull on him. Doesn't he care one way or another? Shouldn't he at least bite at me like a rapid animal? Isn't that what he's good for?

Whatever the reason for the good luck of him being so uncharacteristically docile, I'll take it! So with all my might I manage to,_ literally_, drag him over. Every step forward is cause for celebration and congratulations. _He's really making this difficult!_ Why does he even hold on to my hand if he doesn't want to go too?

When I manage to finally reach her, Hiei in tow, the representative is still staring straight forward. I try to get her attention, to wave and shout at her, but she doesn't seem to hear me. I'm frustrated that I'd gone through all this hassle for nothing, when suddenly she looks over at me **and then** straight through me!

I hear her voice, like an echo say "_Hello! Are you interested in gathering work experience abroad? Are you looking for an exciting change in your life? If so, please come see what I have to offer." _She hands me a brochure… **right through my stomach! **

I shriek and jump backwards like a cat, completely startled and crash into the unforgiving brick wall of Hiei's body!

He doesn't even more back an inch. I think it hurt me more than it hurt him! He snarls but doesn't push me off**. Hell**, _he doesn't have to._

I scramble off his foot and away from his chest at top speed, but get no further than the length of his arm that continues to tether me unsanctimoniously to him.

It's not that it hurt when she put that brochure through my stomach but more like it was a hologram? I touch it out of curiosity and it seems to solidify! I take that strange fact for granted, shrug my shoulders, and then look it over more carefully than I ever did the first time. It's the same one from before. I definitely remember.

"Hey lady? You already gave me this? Don't you remember? That's why I'm here in Japan at this moment." I look at her and wait for her to acknowledge it, to remember. She continues to smile at me, than she says "Are you interested? There are so many countries to consider!"

Is she deaf? _How odd! _

I turn to Hiei to see if he finds this strange but he seems absorbed in thought and won't respond. Or like, I don't know, like he's on pause? _On pause?_ Like a TV button? What the hell?

But I can't seem to muster enough interest. Yes, I register that that is strange but I still turn away, back to the woman. The woman who seems to be more interesting than anything else that exists in the world at the moment. _Why am I being so weird?_

Then it dawns on me to ask her about the address leading to an ice cream shop. After all, wouldn't she have some responsibility for all that mess? Yes! It's because of her that I'm even in this situation right now, damn it! I turn around "Um. About the address..."

But when I look back... _she's no longer there._

Then I hear voices coming from the other side of the clearing.

I turn and there is the whole group: Botan, Kurama, Yukina, Keiko, Kuwabara, Genkai _and Yuusuke_. They all look happy, just chattering away with each other. Dressed like they were going out for the movies or an amusement park, they struck me as a bunch of teenagers just gathered together for some fun. _It was so out of place here._ Where were they going and how did they wind up in a place like this?

I turn to them fully and wait for them to come, suddenly smiling to myself. I didn't realize it was so quiet till they came! Finally! Salvation from all this freakiness!

But as they approached and came within earshot, I found them speaking Japanese! Ignoring it, I called out them anyways "Where have you guys been?"

They just look at me and smile.

I turn to Botan shrugging my shoulders "Guess I still can't talk to them." She just looks at me, tilts her face. I can almost see the question marks rise to the surface of the reflection of her eyes. "Botan?" I ask.

"Nani?" she replies.

A great wave of disappointment finds me. I say to Hiei, a little desperately "Why can't they talk to me?"

"How should I know?" he says to me, like the answer is obvious anyways.

And they, the whole lot them, don't seem to find anything odd about Hiei's iron grip on my hand, or that were in a forest, _or about a damn thing at all!_ They simply wave to me, unperturbed and keep walking, disappearing into the trees, in the direction we just came out of.

I attempt to start to walk after them but Hiei, once again, begins to pull me in the direction we were headed before, _further into the forest._

Yes, it seems like we've been walking forever.

_The forest has gotten misty._ I'm starting to feel apprehensive.

Then I swear I smell fresh water.

I turn towards him and try to tug him to a stop. "Hiei, _Where are we going?_ Why can't we go with the others? I don't want to go this way!" I plead.

And it's true. I don't know why but I have a bad feeling about heading in this direction...

He's still not looking at me but in the direction we were walking, pulling me mercilessly behind him. All could see was the side of his face and the back of his wild black hair. My anxiety was growing by leaps and bounds. "_Hiei..."_ I anxiously try to plead again, suddenly shivering and cowering, pulling back hard, but still being drug forward. No! **No!** Not _this way!_ I don't know why but **NO!**

Then, while I struggled against his grip, without any kind of warning, I find myself smashed hard against a tree!

And my brain just wasn't registering how it was that I was crushed by a tree behind me and suffocated by Hiei's body molded into mine from the front! He was so close! Too close! I was in overload! The bark of tree cut into my back and I yelped and tried to push him off, but it was no good. I couldn't budge him! And I couldn't get any leverage for any strength either! I was helpless…

_And it was frightening! _

He seemed to find my distress inconsequential.

His hand cupped my head just under my chin and ear, his fingers partially grazing my hair. His body pressed deeply against mine, molding itself to every inch of me. I felt the muscles of his stomach contract and slide. I felt the press of his chest into mine as he exhaled. I found myself breathing with him_, in and out_. I was no longer sure where his body ended and mine began...

_My God, he's just so hot_.

And he is, just scorching my skin with the touch of him. Touching him is like touching an open flame.

_I squirmed_, wanting to put some space between me and that heat, to try to make the world make sense again.

He says nothing to me, or about my useless struggling. These things apparently had no point to him. His eyes were zero'd in on my lips, and that was all. His own lips a mere inch from mine. I couldn't help but to whimpered slightly against him...

And then? And then he tilts his head a little to the side and pressing in swiftly without holding back… _he kisses me._

The startle of his strangely soft but firm lips press tightly, searching..._searching for what I don't know_.

_'Let him look forever'_ I think. His tongue flicks across my bottom lip and I feel sparks. My hands, of their own volition, come up behind him, than curl into his hair as I push him harder into me. I'm lost, _and I just don't care._

Then just as quickly as it happened. It ended.

It was like_, like he disappeared from my arms_.

But really, he wasn't but about half a foot away and he reached for my hand again. I was panting, catching my breath and trying to bring my temperature down.

But he? He seemed just as detached as he was right before he kissed me. _What the hell is going on?_

_I still felt on fire_.

The sound of water came back to me in that moment and the mist that had seemed so ominous before, _now felt so nice_. Now I realized, I _wanted _to go find the source. To cool off. I am so friggin' hot!

He seemed to know this without my saying a word and we started to walk on once again.

The closer I got, the louder the rush and tumble of water became. It wasn't just water but a waterfall. I could hear it pounding down in its rhythmic fierceness. The scent, too, of the pine trees was becoming thicker and more intoxicating by the second.

_I wanted to hurry_.

Now I was pulling him!

Finally, we broke through the trees and I found myself abjectly staring. We were at the very top of a majestic waterfall!

It was absolutely breath taking. The smell of it all was permeating and saturating my senses and I felt light headed. How exciting to be chilled by the mist rising from the water, yet my hand in his was on fire!

Then, I looked across the wide water of the river turned waterfall _and did a double take_.

There, on the opposite shore was Jazz! _My best friend was here?_ I couldn't believe it!

I shouted to her "Jazz! Hello! What are you doing over there?" I waved desperately with my only free arm, in wild greeting.

She looked at me and called out to me herself, _but I couldn't hear her over all that violently rushing water._ She didn't look happy though. _She looked upset?_ And it took a moment to realize she wasn't even looking at me at all, but behind me... _to Hiei_.

I pointed to him and did the thumbs up sign and smiled but she didn't seem to get it. She shook her head. She was saying something and I tried so hard to read her lips but I just couldn't make it out.

I turn to Hiei, pointing over to her, to ask him if he understood.

But he isn't looking at her. _He's looking at me._

He steps right into me. So close I feel his hot wet breath on my lips. So very inviting... _and with him so close again, all other thoughts dissipate...  
_  
I'm no longer resisting.

He picks me up, cradled in his arms and then lowers me excruciatingly slowly to the ground, never once letting his eyes leave mine.

I'm not so light but he's handling me like I weigh nothing.

I watch him, as he moves to lie next to me and leans over, bringing his hand very lightly up my arm. His fingers smoothing out the skin of my cheek as his eyes intensely study my lips. He leans in. _He devours me whole._

I find myself lost inside him, as he takes what he wants. He's dominant and demanding and I just don't care...

The passion wipes out all thought I've had since birth.

_At this moment there is nothing that I can acknowledge exists for sure, but me and him... _

But on a _subconscious level_ I begin to register that my skin is starting to feel _slick._

I'm not sure at what point this registers, during all this wet passion, just that I notice.

'Geez the waterfall gets everything around it quite wet' my brain lazily thinks, amidst the sensations of him assaulting my body.

He's sucking lightly at my neck and it tickles. I grab his hair. But then _I feel it for sure_, a moisture so syrupy thick and heavy that it's slipping down the sides of my body in dense rivulets.

**It doesn't feel right.**

That can't be sweat or from the river._ I open my eyes_. I can't see anything past Hiei's head or his chaotic hair swaying, as he nibbles at my neck. _I'm starting to feel a slight panic._ I push his head. He moves, but only to my opposite shoulder. Though, I can now kind of see down. But not really._ What is that dark shine?_

He bites my shoulders' tender flesh, and I flinch. And in the face of his intense and focused passion, I almost forget what I was doing...

**But I need to see. **

I try to separate from him... _just for a moment._

But he doesn't want to let go **and won't**.

He just nibbles down my arm a little, shifting only slightly. _But it's enough._ I'm finally able to glance down at myself...

_**Where a moment later, I scream in a disbelieving horror against his lips...**_

_I'm saturated in __**blood-**_

_Blood. __**Blood!**__ It's __**MY**__ blood!_

The hand of his that wasn't caressing me, was just below a gnashed and bubbling wound in the center of my stomach. It held the glinting silver steel of a dagger in the clutch of his tight fist.

He was twisting it, just ever so slowly, _in a continuous and perpetual widening of the hole._

My ongoing scream hadn't daunted him.

Nor had the free flow of blood stopped him from pressing in his body onto the other half of mine he didn't have the dagger plunged into. And the blood has been seeping over to him, covering most of his own stomach in _**my blood**_.

And if it** had** concerned him, that I could _see,_ that I _was dying_, that he _was killing me_, **I wouldn't know. **

As he continues to kiss me unperturbed, _his eyes still tightly closed..._

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._.

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Yes, I know I'm horrible to end it here but it's necessary. You'll see why soon enough. Hope you don't hate me...what a minute! **I do**. _I'm evil_! That's why I write a Hiei fan fic instead of Kurama. I love those dangerous bad boys... MWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA : D  
**  
HIEI**: hn.

**ME:** Is that all you have to say? I thought for sure you'd love it. It'S violence. **And death. And blood.** What more can you ask for? You even get **to be the one** to inflict it all.

**HIEI**: hn.

**ME**:_ I just don't get you._ I guess what they say is true. Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it!

**HIEI**: ...

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Readers! Review. Review! REVIEW! IF you're enjoying this story, REVIEW! It makes me happy. I write more. It's like payment! REVIEW! :D

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	7. Don't lie to me!

So, wasn't Hiei like a _'complete gentleman_' in the last chapter? I mean, after all, he made sure to **Kiss you Goodbye**! mwhahahahahaha

You know what I noticed? How come NO ONE ever asked me what Hiei tasted like when I licked in him Chapter 1? Isn't anyone curious? No? Ok,** I'll tell you anyways!** :)

**ME:** He tasted like dust and a touch of salt… OH! And a little like copper pennies!

_=thinks about it…=_

**ME:** O-O Oh crap! That means he's a dirty sweaty bastard that has blood on him! Blood,** who's **blood? _= turns green=_ Oh man…. I think I need to bleach my mouth…. _=sigh=_

**BOTAN**: Bingo!

**KUWABARA**: Who? Is someone passing out pennies? Can I have some?

**ME:** Um. Never mind. When did you get here?

**KUWABARA:** I don't know. How come I'm not in here at all?

**ME:** Well, Obviously you're off playing with Yuusuke somewhere. Maybe if you stopped by to visit her you'd be more involved...

**KUWABARA:** Yeah...I guess that makes sense.

**ME**: Uh. Yeah. By the way, Where is Hiei?

**KUWABARA:** Oh, I saw him at the park killing stuff.

**ME**: Killing stuff? Why didn't he come by here?

**KUWABARA:** I don't know really. I asked him if he was coming and he got really angry. He said something about not wanting to be around a twisted thing making him look bad.

**ME**: I wonder who he was talking about... _=scratches head, bewildered=_

**KUWABARA:** I don't know! But I wouldn't bother him. He's got a real attitude right now, more than usual anyways.

**ME:** Uh yeah! That works for me! Oh yeah, as if it isn't known..._blah blah blah_...I do not..._blah blah blah_... nor have I ever..._blah blah blah..._ owned Yu Yu Hakusho. Just this story...

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_**"Don't Lie To Me"**_**  
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_Previously:_

_._

~~~~~The hand of his that wasn't caressing me, was just below a gnashed and bubbling wound in the center of my stomach. It held the glinting silver steel of a dagger in the clutch of his tight fist.

He was twisting it, just ever so slowly, _in a continuous and perpetual widening of the hole._

My ongoing scream hadn't daunted him.

Nor had the free flow of blood stopped him from pressing in his body onto the other half of mine he didn't have the dagger plunged into. And the blood has been seeping over to him, covering most of his own stomach in _my blood_.

And if it had concerned him; that I could _see,_ that I _was dying_, that he _was killing me_, I wouldn't know.

As he continues to kiss me unperturbed, _his eyes still tightly closed__...~~~~~_

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._.

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'No...**NO!** Hiei..._WHY?_' my mind _screams_ at him.

I'm locked against him in his passion. I'm locked against him in his hate. My lips and body held captive but my bitter tears and life flow out freely...

It is in this state... _that I wake up_.

I'm still shrieking! It's a Banshee wail that pulses. I'm hurting my own head but I can't seem to stop!

My eyes popped open so wide, it's a small wonder that they don't fall out. My heart is an African drum beating wildly against its cage, threatening to burst. It hurts; the moment, the madness. I grab at my stomach and in so wild a state, I can't tell if I'm injured or not but I push my hands against it to hold the blood in. To stop my death, to block him from tearing me open like a paper bag.

I'm starting to hyperventilate; I feel the gasp and strain. The last dark wet moments of the dream play over and _over and over..._

The compression of a few seconds, playing out for eternity on a loop of hell: as he killed me softly, in a lovers embrace, in painful slow motion. How he seemed to take pleasure in my knowing what he was doing, in dragging out the damage, my death. Pulling blood from me in red necklaces of streams. A river of my life, that he bathed in. This is the guy pressed on top of me! This is the one inching his lips along the hollow of my neck, licking cold sweat from my skin. What flavor was my fear? What spice, my terror?

I'm locked into this, strapped down in the images of my mind. I strain and strain to make sense of it, to prove it's only a dream _but I can't see anything else!_

Hell. **HELL**._ I'm lost to 7__th__ layer of hell in his hands._

It's darkness all around me, inside me. I'm lost! Why am I even here? _I'm not supposed to be here! _

_Oh god, someone help me! Anyone! Anyone at all… _

I, of course, couldn't see her at first, but Yukina sits on the bed next to me, trying desperately to hold me still. She lifts her own voice in a scream for help, and instantly two more pairs of hands are latched down upon me.

One covers my mouth just long enough to suffocate my scream. The other grips like a steel tail, holding me immobile. I turn my head in those hands direction, and my eyes flash across the tawny white hand, the arms corded with muscle. My sight strains in the grip that holds me in an odd angle, to inch slowly upward, all the way up, and… I find myself face to face with him! It is him! _It is Hiei! _

My late night lover...

**my mad moonlight killer.**

He wants me dead! **Dead!** _I know it now!_ Dripping in the sudden fear, I scream again...writhing against him with a surge of adrenaline.

Struggling much harder now, I'm wild and mindless, trying to get away. But held fast by such hands, even without Yukina's help, he has me and I can't move...

_just like before...  
_  
Hiei leans down to my ear, and I shudder violently. His bottom lip brushes against the edge of my earlobe as his voice turned husky, repeats my name in a mantra like chant "enigma... Enigma..._ Enigma_..." The voice is a vibration against me, as he attempts to bring me back to reality.

"Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh..." he hisses in my ear "=something in Japanese=" he snarls so lightly I almost don't hear.

And finally, _finally_ I manage to gradually separate from my nightmare.

_So I lay there._

As the events of my life since crossing the ocean start to carry back, like pieces of drift wood, I realize I had been caught in nothing more than a very vicious but untrue dream.

Yes, Hiei is definitely _an as$hole_.

And I'll admit he scares the crap out of me far more than I'd like, _but I'm not dead_. And after checking thoroughly several times, to Yukinas' bewildered stare as I repetitively lifted my shirt and rubbed at my stomach, I'm not bleeding out or dying from a knife wound at this minute either.

**Ok**_. So this was nothing._ I'm a fool. So what else is new?

Um, I wanted to explain this all away to curious eyes but, how can I? I cringe… _visibly._

I don't really know what to do. I scratch at my neck furiously, in discomfort and agitation. Why can't I just _not_ act like a spaz in this place for a single minute? I'd like to blame them, but they haven't done anything. That irritates me even more!

It's not like I've ever been in this position before! Or, EVER had such a vivid dream. No other dream had ever seemed so real... so absolutely detailed and exact, that I couldn't shake it or distinguish reality at all...

I shuddered as the dream started to come back.

Digging my nails in to force myself to smile apologetically at them, I carefully and precisely avoid Hiei's gaze. I'm sure he can tell, _but I just don't care_. What can the bastard do about it? Though, thank god for the audience in the room with us, that's for sure!

Yukina smiles her sweet smile, but that smile doesn't quite reach her eyes that show a weariness, a proof that she's not so innocent as to not pick up the obvious. Genkai seems to have wandered in at some point, but ultimately appears unconcerned. If only the rest of them would take her cue!

Yukina, sits on the bed in just such a way that she's holding her weight on the blanket, binding my legs down with it. And it's a brief thought, _but I have the feeling_, _**she did it on purpose**_**.**

No, no, I have no way of no knowing for sure._ But this nagging thought I'm having is that she seems capable of some forms of cruelty despite her actions so far, her overbearing kindness. _

It's a slight impression I've been picking up from her since I got here, but seems like a such a stupid thought when I really think on it. The more I try to reason it out, the more I think to myself that _that_ can't be right! Right? _Right?!_

I can't try to look in her face to try to know for sure one way or another, to see if she's in cahoots with Hiei like the nagging suspicion is telling me, because she's turned to talk to Genkai. Her tones sound like she could be discussing nothing more serious than the weather, but I still suspect otherwise. I can't shake it, it's getting stronger.

_I still suspect otherwise._

Maybe it's just the dream having nasty after effects on me. I don't know where all this cynicism is coming from, all I can guess is that this dream really did a number on me and has given everything a darker look. This is what I'm choosing to tell myself.

After all, I'm trapped here, under her weight and I'm injured. To assume anything of a malicious intent, will do me no good. I'm just going to stop this. I'm going to assume I'm a fool. Because really, I probably am. She probably doesn't even know how tightly she pressed on the blanket.

See? _There._ I've shifted and pulled the blanket a little looser. All better, se-

Yukina, without interrupting her conversation with Genkai, reaches back, pulls the blanket back in even tighter than before, and settles her weight back on it. She never even looks at me.

_I shrink back. _

'_I'm a fool_.' I think to myself in a very small voice '_a fool..._' But what exactly I'm a fool about, I don't want to think on…

I try to shake my head to clear such negative thoughts but then I turn to see Hiei still standing a little ways off from my bed, glaring down so hard, his eyes could be made of diamonds. His look could cut glass.

His arms crossed over his chest, giving him the impression of a guard that will _never allow me to pass_. Why the hell is he even still here? Doesn't he have a corner wall to lean against or something? Go away bastard! **GO AWAY!**

I don't say it though. Just glancing at him, was enough to scare me straight back into the dream and though I know exactly where he stands in this room, I can't face him off. I can't utter a word, because it's like inviting the dream version of him to materialize right here _when I only just escaped it._ I keep telling myself I'm being a complete moron but, my god_… my god_… I can still feel that dagger being turned round and round, slicing a little bit of flesh at a time.

Yukina to the left of me. Hiei to the right!

**Like a prisoner. **

I shudder. I shudder again. I feel Hiei's stare right through like an x-ray. Despite my earlier fears, I still opt to inch closer to Yukina, as if she could or would ever stop him.

But by then, 30 minutes had passed. Botan rushes into the room. I startle at her unceremonious entrance in, the flip of her sky blue hair that was let loose now, set free of its standard ponytail. Why is she here too? Did she stay over?

She lands at my side, forcing Yukina to finally move off the bed to make room and I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "Are you ok Enigma?" she gushed "What happened? What's the matter? Is someone after you? You can tell us! We can help!" And with her rushing of words I smile for the first time since I "woke up". The aura of the room loses some of its dark hue and I can breathe again. I can laugh!

She really is a riot! She'll give herself ulcers before she's twenty! And me? I must be mad to be having all these mutinous thoughts of these guys! That's right! _I'm a fool!_ Ha ha

"I'm fine Botan, really!" I start to explain. I run my fingers through my hair to smooth it, I'm sure it's a rats' nest. And I don't know what it is about her, but I never want to tell her anything, like bad news I mean. What do I think will happen to her if I do? What's with the knee jerk reaction to hide things from her? But no, I just couldn't tell her my suspicions or the eerie realism of the dream.

I can't seem to do it, so I conceal again "I had a really bad nightmare_... is all_. Can you just tell them that for me so that they don't look so worried? So they, like, finally _go away_ so I can go back to sleep already? Sheesh!" I force myself to say lightly.

Then I lean into her a little further and say "Especially that guy," pointing at Hiei in a rude jerk. "He's such a creep, man. Why is he always shadowing me? I'm beginning to think he likes me or something and has decided to stalk me!" I laugh and laugh like that is the most ridiculous thing in the entire world… _but inside I shiver and shudder at the thought. _

"And tell them I'm sorry for scaring them. I'm afraid I'm just not a morning person!" I add, starting to ramble in nervousness, "uh, I mean, you know, I know it's still dark but like 'early morning before the sun rises' person." I amend, than I laugh loudly to accent my point.

Botan tells them what I said...

_They don't look relieved. They don't look amused. _

But before I can even begin to wonder why… Hiei, who had finally giving up guarding me too, when Botan had bumbled in, and had since kept vigil at the window, now had left his repose. He walked silently across the room to stop at the foot of my bed.

I'd say that I can't take my eyes off him, but the truth was, I could only get myself to look as far as the part of the bed that was right in front of where he stood. My hands bunched up in the blanket in tight fists. My shoulders tense rigid. I keep trying to make myself look up and act like I wasn't already starting to shake violently, _but I couldn't do it. _

Because I **am**_, I am scared._

I don't want to let this guy get to me but I'm not convinced he's not the same guy as the one in the dream.

Sure he hasn't held my hand or talked to me in English. And he hasn't used his lips like a suction on my neck either but _IT CAN'T BE RULED OUT! _Who else seems like they could rip your throat out for doing nothing more than talking about the color of his shirt?

He looks down at me, but speaks to Botan "=something in Japanese="

He doesn't shout. It's just a low base tone, a solid _commanding_ tone. Botans' eyes widen in surprise at his words. She stares at him. Then she looks at me once over and glances back at Hiei again as if in askance. Hiei doesn't repeat himself. She turns to me, bewildered and says curiously "He says: 'Why don't you say what it was _really_ about.' "

I startle and my spine snaps straight in surprise. _Why is he saying this?_ Why is he suddenly willing to inject himself into the conversation? Why can't he go find some rock to crawl under!?

God, but his words seem to always make me mad! I turn surely and defensive at his threat to out me in front of everyone. To expose my ridiculous and unfounded fear. He's not going to use me as a toy for his amusement!

'What? Does he think he can just play shrink with me now? Trying to act like he knows something. He doesn't know anything!' I snarl angrily to myself.

Outwardly, I only harden my face. I figure he's been studying my expression and body language, so it's probably my fault he guessed my terror to begin with. But I'm going to prevent him from being able to detect anything further. _Even if it kills me..._

I start by trying to not feel so vulnerable. No longer pinned down by Yukina, I pull myself into a proper sitting position. My head spins. I grab it and close my eyes to wait for it to pass.

When it does, with Botan and everyone else right there, I gather courage and look directly into Hiei's face. I suppress a shudder. His eyes glow intensely on me and I cower a little, and have to catch myself from withdrawing again. I say to Botan, while still looking straight at him with as stubborn a look as I could manage, "Botan, tell him what I say for me, _word for word_."

She doesn't answer but all I can assume is that means she'll comply and I maintain shaky eye contact with Hiei as I say, "I don't know what _you mean_ Hiei..."

I could see Hiei's ears twitch just ever so slightly at the sound of his name on my lips.

His eyes narrow dangerously at me, as Botan says "hmmmmmm" to herself for a moment in consideration, than repeats it.

I immediately see a tick mark appear on Hieis' left cheek. The muscles in his face tighten into what could only be an agitated scowl, while he pauses for one second then two, that seem to stretch into eternity before responding "=something in Japanese=" He says it so low, I barely hear him speak. And I can't be sure that Botan has heard him at all, because she said nothing.

I turned, to see why she either doesn't say anything or ask him to repeat… but turning to look at her, _Botan looks worried_. I tilt my head in question, she finally says "He says… _'Don't lie to me.'…?_" She turns to me "What does he mean Enigma? I don't know what I'm missing here, _but he means it..." _

And despite how much I try to keep control of it, I feel myself starting to shake again under the intensity of his gaze. _The dream still casting its spell on me._ He moves to the side of my bed, standing beside me. My shaking worsens, and I curse myself. He crosses his arms knowingly and looks down at me. And I hate myself, but I can't help it... _I cower from him slightly_. I scoot closer to Botan.

He notices..._he knows._

He speaks again and I wait with great trepidation to know what next he says to trash my world...

Botan's eyes widen further and further as the tension in my body mounts. She doesn't repeat it though. She shakes her head swiftly 'no', and speaks back to him. Finally granting me momentary relief, he turns his face to her directly and growls so loud I jump "=**something in Japanese!=**"

He must have demanded she repeat it, this is all I can assume, as even if she didn't want to, she finally accedes and turned toward me, looking angry but for whatever reason, unable to refuse.

"He says _'Why don't you tell them why you are suddenly so afraid of me. Why don't you tell them what your dream was like. Tell them what you woke up screaming insane from. Or, are you afraid if you say it, you'll find yourself __**covered in blood **__after all?_"

The more Botan repeated, the more her face furrowed into confusion about what this means, and the more I started to curl into myself. It didn't sound like he was guessing, it sounded like he _**KNEW...**_

He stared hard at me as Botan spoke. Watching me carefully, clearly far too interested to see what I'd say...

But me, I didn't want to say _anything._

How can I tell strangers such a personal dream? I felt so exposed as it is and, really, what purpose would it serve? Why do they need to know? 'The answer' I tell myself 'is that they don't _NEED_ to know. Hiei, _WANTS_ to know'.

And I decided I have **no** intention of telling him, _ESPECIALLY HIM._

I turn to Botan then and say "Tell him… Tell _HIM_, It's none of his business! And frankly, **he** can go f*ck himself!" with a lot more bravado then I really have at the moment.

He grows very angry at each word she spoke and before the last word was out of her mouth, he was speaking so forcefully it was nearly a hiss through his teeth!

Botan, having taken this to be some sort of childish fight, resigns herself for the moment and repeats like an echo "It is, when I'm so involved in it! When I am the one to-".

Botan stops, tilts her head at him in curiosity, her blue hair shifting out in a waterfall, waiting for him to finish. When he does, she repeats sounding genuinely bewildered and slightly alarmed, "You don't get it, do you?"

He smirks deeply as he hears Botan say his words changed into my own tongue. I glare at him 'Is he back to calling me stupid?'

Then it happens… the worst imaginable thing! Inside my head, **I hear him!** " Enigma, =something that sounds sexy in Japanese="

I hear it whispered clearly inside my mind. I'm looking straight at him _and his lips never moved_. His voice never came from his throat!

It was swiftly followed by a picture of me sitting at the table last night by Kurama. Like a movie camera playing in my mind. My mouth drops open in shock. It was the view at angle Hiei had of me last night at dinner! **I'm sure of it!**

But it doesn't stop and the picture then changes to a forest… _the forest in my dream_. The tree he smashed me against, his body pressed against mine; feeling me, touching me. And... and here I start to shake horribly again despite myself, because next_ I see that waterfall._ The faded translucent image of my friends' horrified face on the other side of the raging river edge... Him, as he lowers me down to the ground... _And what comes next…._

_**I SCREAM!**_

"No!" I scream!

I get up quickly, wobbling badly and fighting the nausea and dizziness, making a break for the door. I'm so pumped with adrenaline, that maybe, just maybe I could just get out this crazy Wonderland after all! I could just possibly escape this Mad Hatter's Tea Party while I'm still in one piece and breathing!

The door gets closer and closer to my outstretched hand and just as I am about to reach it...

**Hiei is before me. **

I reel back trying to stop the collision but he was there so suddenly_, I can't_ and I crumple into him like a broken accordion. It knocks the wind from my body and I wheeze with the struggle to pull air into my lungs. His arm snaked around me in lightning speed, to catch me from bouncing right off him again. _There's no give in him._ His body is hard and unforgiving and so hot! Just like him. Just burning my skin to the touch.

My mind fights desperately for control _'How did he get in front of me?_ He was at the other side of the room...the other side of the bed... _What the hell is going on?"_

My mind continued to reel as I pushed off him in an attempt to stand but I'm struggling to breathe still and can do nothing but pathetically lose my balance and fall backwards. He catches my arm, stopping my spiral descent as easily as catching paper. His grip is tight and bruising. Without letting go, he looks at me and speaks again, almost as if he expects me to understand…"=something in Japanese="

Botan, sounding very alarmed now and having stood up at this sudden change in tempo, echoes "He says to tell him why do you involve him? What is the meaning of this?" It seems almost that she wants to know herself, as if he might have shown her too!

Me, I'm scared as hell at this moment, unable to look anywhere but his hand that restrains me, I barely hear her, in my confusion, this dizziness.

But, not this time, let him do his worst. Not this time!

I make some attempt to stand straight again. I look him dead in the face, straightening my jello legs as best as I can, I say so low Botan strains to hear "What are you afraid of?"

I want to back up, before she repeats, but I can't. I watch him hard instead, as Botan plays it back. Secreting, I'm obviously self destructive, because I hope she uses my tone.

I see an aggravated look cross his face like a shadow, and despite myself I smile in satisfaction. But my legs care nothing of my hard won pride and sadly give out beneath me.

A second later I find myself, not on the floor or dangling like a rag doll from his iron grip, but in his arms! I'm weightless and stunned and burning against him, as he carries me back to the bed, setting me down none to gently. _It hurts,_ I land wrong. Where is Disney when you need it?

Glaring daggers down at me, as if his decision to carry me was _somehow my fault_, I tremble despite myself. _I just can't shake it._ My dream, indeed, was more real then I cared to know, as I find that his touch and actions have the same effect on me.

_I really am in trouble!_ I need Dorothy's ruby shoes! Then I can just click my heels three times and get the f*ck out of here damn it! I've got something worse than her witch to deal with! _I need them more! Hand them over B^tch!_

At that, as if Hiei were listening to my inner tirade, looks disgusted, than turns and without a further word, leaves by the window. The whole room silently stares at his retreating back.

Once he had gone, feeling far braver in his absence, I say to no one in particular "Well, _SOMEONE_ seriously needs some prozac! I'm not naming any names _but we all know who_ that is!" I grin widely as I amuse myself, since no one else seems to want to, Botan looking at me oddly.

"I think you both scare me!" she finally gives in, and she and I begin to laugh.

I turn to see Genkai watching with an indulgent smile, completely unruffled by all of it, but Yukina just stares and stares…

.

*cl..cl..**cliick***

._.

*cl…c…clllliiic**cck***

.

So, I sit at the table of the night before, having breakfast with Botan, Genkai and Yukina.

Last night feels a million years away. My suspicions seem stupid and flighty in the harshness of the morning light.

We discuss my plans for this dilemma with my work program. It all feels so normal right now. I use their phone to call the company but just like my best friends' and parents' number... it's like it they never existed. I'm really discouraged.

What will I do now? _I didn't intend to stay in this madhouse, especially after last night._ It's seems to get freaky at the strangest times. There's just no predicting it.

But Botan gets that crazy happy light of hers, in her eyes. She then interrupts my thoughts, saying "Don't worry! _I have connections!_ I'll use them to figure out why these numbers won't go through and where this company _really_ is. I'll be back later. You just rest. So your head will finish healing!"

I stare at her.

Spending the day here with nothing to do and no one to speak to really doesn't appeal to me but my options, I realize, are non-existent. Still, I thank Botan for helping me so nicely, 'particularly when I seem to attract so much trouble!' I think, and leave it at that.

I'm trapped.

_Why argue?_

Then Yukina speaks to Botan, who then turns to me, smiling happily "Yukina says, if you'd like, she'll teach you the Japanese names of things around today, to help you start to learn the language."

I grin, Yukina looks like nothing more than a sweet cherub in this mornings' light and I'm quick to say I'd love to. Yukina seems pleased. Gone is the other Yukina of last night. How could I ever have such dark thoughts of her? _I really was the fool._

Genkai also adds in and Botan says "Genkai says if you're interested you could also join her later for yoga. She tells me your 'ki' is off."

'Ki?' I think? 'Like for a door? Must be a Japanese thing. Whatever.' I mentally shrug. "Sure" I say and it's settled. Well, It seems my day won't be as big a waste as I thought...  
.

*cl..cl…cl…cl...**cliick***

.

_Damn it! Why won't this stupid recorder just-_

_._

*cli_ckkk_*

._.

*cl..cl..**cliick***

.

**Mother Fuc~**

.

*cl**ick***

._.

*cl…c…clllliiic**cck***

.

_One more time you punk as$~_

.

*cl**iick***

._.

*cl…c…clllliiic**cck***

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.  
There! I got it! Ok. It's on now I think. I only had to find 5 big rubber bands to hold the stupid freaking button down. I'm going to have to see if someone can fix this.

_I sigh. Suddenly exhausted_.

But anyways, it was true. I had a great day.

My communication was zilch, this is a fact, but I did enjoy the exercises. I hadn't realized how tense my muscles were! And I am slowly tackling a word here and there. Ok, so maybe I'm cheating and I've been writing them phonically on my arm in ink, but whatever works, right? And I remember their names! Quite an accomplishment for someone whose memory is about as good as a rocks'...

Then in walks Botan, followed by some really hot guy.

**Geez**, What is it with this place. Are they growing these hot things like wild fire or is it a special scent that attracts them here? I don't know. All I know is I am kinda liking this place if for nothing else than the view! Whoo Hoo!

They walk up to me and he speaks...**in English! **

"Hello. My name is Koemna. How do you do?" he states in a very carefully modulated tone. So proper I think and**... Wait!**

_What the hell is up with that stupid pacifier?_ Is this some kind of kinky thing he has? _Eeeewww!_

But staring at Botan standing so close to him, it occurs to me that maybe this is Botans' boyfriend and she wanted me to meet him. Well, I gather, I better be nice to return all her favors.

I say, "Ummm... Hi! It's nice to meet you pacifier...I mean, Koennmme? Um Kamone? Uh, _What's your name again_?"

He looks agitated, and sniffs "Botan, _you _gave me the impression that she was **nice**..."

Botan looked nervous! "She is! Your name is just hard for her. Right Enigma?!" She looks at me, with a kind of pleading. I look at her funny. Whoooaa! This is waaaayyy too much butt kissing for me! Where is Botan's back bone? This girlfriend needs some lessons in Girl Power!

But I consider it and I don't want her to be upset after all she's been doing for me. So I bite my tongue, quite hard actually! And I correct myself "Um. _yyyeeeeah,_ still trying to get the hang of these Japanese words. No hard feelings, yeah?"

He still looks put out, but gives me the once over with a careful hazel eye and decides to let it side. He begins again, as if I never said anything. "That's ok" he states. He waves his hand, like he's shooing away some terrible smell.

"Anyway," he continues without waiting for me "I have concerns about you." He eye balls me, but I don't react. What could he possible say or do to top last night? _Nothing!_ **Ha!**

Seeing my non-reaction, _he sighs_, like he's just come to the realization that he must be talking to an imbecile and continues unabated, "It seems that the company that you came to work for has never existed. Strangely, neither do your parents or your friend." I stare him, he makes no sense, this one.

He's on his soapbox and continues "**Matter of fact**," he hums, rubbing his chin as he thinks about it "I have been very perplexed. **Because**, _it seems,_ **that neither do you..."**

I want to laugh. _I want to cry._ This world is a land of funhouse mirrors, where nothing _ever_** is** as it should be.

_Damn it all. Damn it all to hell. _

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**I'm still stuck in f*cking Wonderland. **_

_**.**_

_**And here is the god damn Mad Hatter himself. **_

.  
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Still hate me now?

If not, Well, give me time! Soon you will be cursing my name! Speaking of names... I feel that giving due credit is in order here. I have a beta reader for my chapters... my best friend Linda in Cali! She's really been helping me (not to your benefit, I'm afraid) and I would happily like to say that the title for my story "Twitch, Twitch" was her idea and the idea of the dream chapter was also purely hers... Though she'll kill me if I don't mention that she had NOTHING to do with what I did to you. he he he... yes people. It was ALL ME in that regard... I just love killing you off! What is it, like 2 times now? I'm really enjoying this! But hey, **now **you know how Yuusuke feels...

**YUUSUKE:** What does that mean? They didn't have to do crap to come back! They just sit on their butts and click! I almost gotten eaten by an egg! A f*cking EGG! And… and… .I had to get kissed by some chick.

**ME:** This is a problem why?

**YUUSUKE:** She's my FRIEND you sicko! Besides, it wasn't that KIND of kiss!

**LINDA:** *she marches herself right up to him* Oh, Was it more like this?! *she grabs him and does the tongue tango*

**YUUSUKE:** (O _ O) Wha...where... how... *then he gets mad he's been taken unawares and embarrassed*

*Linda is humming to herself. Happy with the stolen kiss and has already forgotten as she has her back to him...*

*Jaws music begins to play: DU Na. Du NA. DUNA DUNA DAAA!*

*He grabs her. Pushes her into the wall and kisses her what for!*

**Linda:** X _ X *poor Linda...she never saw it coming...*

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Ok Peoples! I see you click to read. So PLEASE REVIEW! I LOSE MOTIVATION OTHERWISE!

You can tell me what you like, your favorite lines, what made you laugh.

Hell, you can tell me what you didn't like, or scream at the characters, cuz that's fun too! Just don't click and run. That's so mean and then I don't feel like writing…

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	8. I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore!

So, I'm supposed to be moving soon and here I am still typing stories. This is not good. I need to focus. Oh, screw it! Like I care...

**ME:** *looking a little strained* I hope you can forgive me but I'm afraid this fan fic must cool off for a little while_...Oooww!..._ I mean, permanently.

**HIEI:** *has me in a very painful grip which he tightens periodically to increase the pain* That's right onna. I'm glad you understand me now.  
**  
ME**: You can't get away with this! You have no right to... **OWWWWWW!** *tears start in my eyes*

**HIEI:** *eyes glinting* One more word out of you onna and this story will be the least of your concerns...

*I fall silent but you can see my fierce anger*

**HIEI**: _AND_ just in case any of_ YOU_ *points out to each of my readers* (Look out guys! He's really on a rampage!) gets any funny ideas. Let me tell you now... Sit down! Shut up! If you don't like it, it's better you leave... or perhaps... I'll make you! This onna does NOT own me or Yu Yu Hakusho. If she did, I would have killed her by now...  
**  
ME**: *I look up suddenly panicked* Run guys! He's crazied! I don't know what I did to upset him but... X-X

*knocked unconscious*

**HIEI**: No one goes _ANYWHERE_ unless I let you...  
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_**"I Don't Think We're In Kansas anymore!"**_**  
**

_**.**_

_**.**_

Previously:

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Seeing my non-reaction, _he sighs_, like he's just come to the realization that he must be talking to an imbecile and continues unabated, "It seems that the company that you came to work for has never existed. Strangely, neither do your parents or your friend." I stare at him. He makes no sense, this one.

He's on his soapbox and continues "Matter of fact," he hums, rubbing his chin as he thinks about it "I have been very perplexed. Because, _it seems,_ that neither do you..."

I want to laugh. _I want to cry._ This world is a land of funhouse mirrors, where nothing _ever_ is as it should be.

_Damn it all. Damn it all to hell. _

_._

_I'm still stuck in f*cking Wonderland. _

_._

_And here is the god damn Mad Hatter himself__~~~~~  
_.

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._.

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I could almost see the world around me crystallize a moment, as I blink slowly over and over again, as I look at him.

Somehow I just keep wishing that if I just blink **enough** times, I'll clear my vision and all of this will be gone, _like magic_. Foolish, I know, but a girls' got to try, doesn't she?

The funny thing is, _he looks like a normal enough guy_.

Ok. So the pacifier is not normal _AT ALL,_ but follow me for a moment:

He's wearing clothes.

Yeah they're a little funny and way formal but _they're clothes, he's not naked or flashing me from inside a huge trench coat, _and they do **look good** on him. Plus, you know, at this point _ANYONE_ that can speak to me in English is earning **huge **brownie points because I can actually carry on a conversation_, no matter how weird it is, _and not just stare at them in a dumb stupor.

And I'd like to have a third good point to add to the other two, but… _that's all I can think of_, and it's just going to have to do for now.

So thinking about it like that, I find myself nodding my head, thinking 'Yeah, I can deal with this. Ok. So the guy's just a cracked pot. It's not his fault,_ right_? He's one can short of a six pack, one sandwich shy of a picnic, sure, but _he was probably born like that_. Most hot guys have at least one major defect. And… _I guess_… this is just his.' I keep nodding harder and harder, trying to reassure myself.

I straighten up and attempt to make eye contact. 'Ok,' I think idlely, '**Okkkk…**. The guy probably didn't say what I thought I heard him say. I'm just going to try being politely and try this one more time... '

_Deep breath…_

"_**Excuse you?!"**_ I say just a little, no, **way** too loudly.

_Oppps_. Not quite the way I wanted to ease into it… but **like I give a rat's as$!** Ha ha!

And, unfortunately, saying it out loud just makes me angry all over again.

'Who the hell does he think he is anyway?' I snap in my head, while my face starts to harden.

I wanted to be more rational about this, but yeah, this is nuts. This place is nuts. _These people are nuts._ **Hell, even their animals are probably nuts!** Knowing this whack job, he's probably got no underwear on under those fancy clothes and is a closet toe licker or something! I can feel my control slipping, but the more I think about it… _like I care._

I fume. 'Just coming in here and saying that? Is he trying to tell me to 'disappear'? Well, I'll just make his kinky as$ disappear behind my fist, if that's what he's saying...'

I seethe furiously.

I recognize that I'm being a total yo-yo right now with my emotions, _but hey_, you _try _having my kind of week and not start to lose it a little.

"_cough. cough_"

"Enigma?"

"_ahem_…"

"…uh.. Enigma?"

"_Hack! HACK!"_

"_ENIGMA!"_

"**Hello? Are you still with us?**"

I jerk swiftly sideways at the shout, balling my fists in preparation for a fight.

But it's just those two dodo birds.

Botan wanted my irritated attention, and just like she wanted, I come back from the volcano of my thoughts. How rude! _Why are they yelling at me? _I focus my narrowed eyes on pacifier boy, seeing him with his own eyes closed in reverence to himself _and still talking_…

I finally relax and unclench my fists. As he's got a serious manifesto coming out of his mouth, and the guy is a big fat zero as a threat.

I mumble "Oh, he's still talking. _What a surprise..._"

After more than 5 minutes of a non-stop monologue out of him, I look at him with as much patience as I can muster and interrupt him, mostly to remind him that he's not talking to an empty room and I say, "_Yeah?_ I didn't catch that last 20 minutes of that, I'm sorry but _What were you saying?_"

Since I cut him off mid-sentence, he looks at me for the moment like he regrets wasting his time. I sneer a wide grin maliciously…

My mind wanders again, while staring at him up and down…

'Maybe he's late for his appointment with the dominatrix and that's why he's so edgy...' I make myself laugh at this.

"What's so funny?" he says indignantly.

"Oh it's nothing. It's just that I..." but I can't even finish my sentence as my mind plays out perfectly my vision of him in leather and chains on his hands and knees. A vicious woman standing over him, her high heel in his face saying "Lick my shoes clean vermin!" and he obediently replies "Yes madam butterfly"... and leaves me reeling in laughter.

My sides start throbbing from the abuse as I snort and gasp for breath. It hurts. It hurts so good!

Koenma is not amused.

_But screw him! Because I am! _

He looks at me like he suddenly questions my sanity. I fight for control. It's probably best I don't piss him off too much or he might not help me. So I gather myself tightly and smile at him, _my lips still twitching_.

"As you were saying, I'm not here...?" I say to him, and bow to him in a grand sweep with my arm extending, utterly grandiose and _mocking_. He watches me for a moment, deciding to ignore the taunt and eyeing me to make sure I really could control myself this time and then he finally continues "Yes. Well, now you see, I have looked through all my records and can't seem to find anything at all on you..."

But I cut him off swiftly at that! Woah. WoaH! WOAH! Did I miss something important in all his ranting?

"Records? _What are you talking about_? _Who are you?_ Oh! **Wait!** Let me guess! You think **you're CIA**! No _WAIT!_ **WAIT A MOMENT!**" I grin and clap my hands, fully paying attention to him now, and I point at him, right between the eyes "_You think you're God, right?" _I grin at him, barely restraining my laughter. NOW I'm on to him! This is some kind of grand joke or this guy is a _serious schizophrenic_!

And I don't know which would be worse, but what can I do for now but play along and see where this goes? So I wait for him to continue.

He stiffens at my implied insult but continues mostly unruffled, "ACTUALLY, _I'm not exactly God_, I'm prince Koenma. The son of Yama who **IS** God, so indirectly the answer is, **yes**, _yes I am._"

_My lips twitch harder... _

Holy mother…. Grant me the strength!

He sniffs lightly out of his nose and dusts imaginary dirt off his left sleeve before continuing, "**Now**. As I was saying before, there are no records of you existing. Not here. Not in the Makai_. Not anywhere_. I'm not sure what to make of this..."

My eyebrows raise, "The _**Me ka eee**_? What is that? _Some exotic island_?"

He seems more and more put out by the moment. Suddenly he feels the need to dust the imaginary dirt off his right sleeve now, "**Nooooo**. It's the world** above** the Reiki."

My head began to spin, "The Ra ka e? Are you f*cking with me? _A world above a world?_ What are you talking about? _Are you on something?_ You know there's support groups out there for addicts. Do you want me to find you a number? "

He talks slowly now like I'm a baby "The **Reiki** is the spirit world. I live and rule there. Above the **Reiki** is the** Makai** where the demons live."

Now my eyes start to widen "_**Demons?**_ Aren't they like, suppose to be **BELOW** us?" I drug out the word 'below' like I was trying to hint that he's getting his mythology mixed up, in his little make believe story and this was his opportunity to fix it!

Koenma looks irritated. "**NO!**_ ABOVE_ the Reiki!" he states, using his arms to point at me and then up to the sky to accent his point.

My eyes still won't shrink, they're wide doors of incredulousness "_Butttt,_ aren't they like supposed to be** evil** and work for the **devil** _or something_?" I'm really confused now. He's taking all this folklore _way too seriously _and I don't know if I should run or tackle him and tell the rest of them to call 9-1-1!

He begins to look at me confused for the first time, "Devil? _What are you talking about?_ Yes, Demons can be evil just like humans. I'm not sure what you're thinking_, but that is just the name for the species _that lives on that world."

I look incredulous… "_Yeah right_. Sure buddy!"

Koenma didn't like being called a liar, or a 'buddy' for that matter.

He puffed out like a puffer fish, spikes and all and drug a nasty looking pointer finger right in my face, "_Now. Look. Here!_ **Open your eyes!** Those **"people"** that you know as Kurama and Yukina and Hiei, they are **demons**. Do you understand me? _All three of them!_ For heavens' sake! If you don't believe me, just _ask them!_"

For a moment… I wasn't sure if I should bite that finger right off, or… My eyes widen more than I thought was possible..._then I erupt into laughter!_

**'OH MY GOD!** _This is rich_! Now I **KNOW** that guy is delusional!' _I laugh and laugh and laugh_, falling against the wall for support. My eyes glitter with tears. I can't seem to stop myself.

The more I think of it, the funnier it sounds!

Koenma looks exasperated at me at this point. Botan comes to my rescue, _sort of_, "Sorry sir! She gets like that. It's just part of her personality. She's really a lot of fun. Plus..._she hit her head pretty hard last night_..."

I'm still reeling with laughter too hard to get a pissed off word in edgewise at that remark and he seems to pause to consider it before he nods his head. Accepting that without challenge, or maybe too worn out by it to give a damn, he adds "Yes, clearly it appears it did _brain damage_..."

I heard that! **Now I really am pissed!**

_Who does that schizo think he is?!_

I rush him and shove him into the wall, hearing the thud of his back making hard contact.

I have him by the collar and bring my face right into his. He doesn't fight me, just looks a little alarmed, "What did you say about me, pretty boy?! Just because you... _Wow!..._ You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen..._today_..."

_I'm so close to him I could kiss him._ The effect of being too close to see his pacifier and instead just utterly consumed by his eyes and glowing skin… was like the suction of a black hole and more than a little unnerving, but I've obviously learned that _a little too late_.

His wispy bangs falling against my forehead in a gentle touch… And I wasn't kidding about his eyes...they just _glowed_ and _sparkled, like the center of a summer lake_. They pulled me right in. _I forgot myself._

His lips looked nice too, I wonder if he's a good kisser_... Not that I would!_ "At least, not after his comment!' I brusquely think to myself, dragging myself mentally and roughly from the spell of the moment.

But as I'm standing there I suddenly feel the hairs on the back of my neck **stand straight up**!

And I don't even have to turn around to know that _**HE**_ has just come into the room. But I can't seem to help myself, despite my better judgement, I turn around_... and see Hiei looking __**straight at me**__._

**He looks _pissed_!**

His lips twitched at the corners like he is dying to say something, and I could guess it's not nice! His eyes seem to widen like saucers beneath the shadow of his wacked out hair, before, seconds later, dropping nearly closed again to narrow thin lines, alight with a bright red shade so unlike him. Those eyes flashed at me, I swear it.

Then my eyes are drawn down to his hands by the motion of them, as first one and then the other, curve into the undeniable shape of fists. His shoulders seeming to pull back, as if he's preparing to leap forward!

I involuntarily cringe. My whole body, every last little muscle down to my finger tips clenches, and I can hear Koenma choking as I've twisted his shirt all the way up against his neck in the process. Which pulls me even closer to Koenma's chest, as if subconsciously looking for protection.

The tension was so great I felt I might snap in half at any second, as something that seems even more fierce passes over his eyes, like a great storm bringing in a hurricane. _What is he thinking? Why does he look at me with such open naked hatred? __**Or is it hatred? **_

_If not, __**What is it?**__ What is his problem with me? And why won't he say anything? Just spit out already!_

But then the look… just _disappears_.

It recedes back further and further into his eyes, and the light of them dulls again. Hiei looks like Hiei again, someone who doesn't give a damn. And he looks down and away from me.

Botan carefully detaches me from Koenma and peels me away like an onion, in layers. "Enigma, Why don't you just stand over here?" she says carefully, pulling at my arm.

I look at her and shrugged "Ok." 'I'm still pretty wiped out right now anyway.' I mentally mumble, now that all my fire and brimstone is gone in the chaos. 'I'll take his a$$ out later.' I console myself...

Hiei, who had turned his body away from me, now seemed to use this moment shake off whatever had strangely managed to root him to the spot and walked off towards the other room where Yukina is.

"Hiei." Koenma calls to him very sharply.

Hiei stops immediately, strangely quiet and obedient, but doesn't turn around.

"=something in Japanese=" Koenma says.

Hiei growls loudly at what sounded like a command but then answered in a normal, although extremely curt tone "=something in Japanese="

Koenma straightens himself up at this response and says something again. Hiei just "hn'ed" and then kept walking into the other room, as if Koenma had never stopped him.

And maybe it's just me, as I watched all this go on, maybe I'm imagining things,** but**… _I could just swear he refused to look at me..._

I turn expectantly to Koenma to tell me what that was all about. And he turns to find me looking at him, surprised to have my full attention and weary of it. But after a moment, as if becoming clairvoyant, he tells me "I can see you're wondering what that was about."

'Well, duh!' I think.

He continues "I was just telling Hiei that he needed to bring you back here later. You'll need to come with Botan and I right now. We're going to the Reiki to have you answer some questions to help figure this out. I think I need a better perspective on this. None of it makes much sense, as I see you can appreciate."

Koenma pauses for a moment and a devastatingly charming smile plays across his lips. He lifts his arm out for me to take. With an equally pleasing and modulated tone, he beacons "Here. Come with me. I'll get us there quickly_... Do you really think I have beautiful eyes?"_

I look at him floored!

He is seriously weird! But hey, He's cute... _and Hiei doesn't seem interested_.

And I'm not interested in Hiei **EITHER** damn it! He's just a punk MF that clearly doesn't care one bit about me! Just likes to torture me, that's all. And he's damn good at it too... _or so I tell myself..._

I'm about to take Koenma's arm when I remember something... I stop and look up at him.

"I can't go like this!" I say with sudden realization. He looks at me, really looks at me for the first time _apparently_ and says "What do you..." but stops as his eyes are raked over my appearance.

"What happened to you?" He stammered.

And I could only imagine how horrible I looked.

My hair was an absolute mess. I probably would have combed it but..._you know_... it's still caked with dried blood, bandages and all. I've also got scratches and random bruises all over from who knows where at this point! My poor remnants of my once beautiful dress are now wrinkled and bloody, and I don't even want to know how my face looks at this point!

This is a very long winded answer to have to give but I take a deep breath and decided to try anyway, counting each thing on my fingers "Well... Let's see. I came here with Botan last night...Hiei insulted me...I tried to slap him...had dinner...cleaned the dishes with the girls...uh...went to try to go to bed... someone grabbed me... I split my head open and passed out... had a really wild nightmare... woke up and freaked... passed out again... um... oh yeah! I had eggs and toast for breakfast too! _They were really good!"_ I laughed. I probably laughed too hard.

Yep. That about summoned it up and _quite nicely too_!

I was nodding my head in approval of my own answer, when I noticed that they hadn't said anything, Koenma or Botan for that matter. I looked up. They looked weird, the pair of them, as they stood there with their mouths open. And I thought that that was a nasty way to wind up with flies in your mouth. So I walked over and closed their mouths for them.

But Koenma recovered quickly enough, apparently either taking what I said as a lie, or an exaggeration. Then he stood straight and said "Sure. Why don't you clean up and Botan will bring you shortly?"

I snickered at his attempt to ignore me for once and said "Works for me!"

And with that... he disappears before my eyes, _while I stare after him in shock..._

Stumbling forward, I put my hands through the space he was just standing in,_ but he's really not there?_ What the f*ck?

My hands keep searching the space, as if my eyes betray, until Botan grabs them and turns me around, saying "He** said** he was the son of God, didn't he?" before pushing me down the hall towards the bathroom.

I stumbled again, though whether it was from the head wound or the shock, I couldn't say…

._.

*crik…. Criilck… CLICCCKKK… Kk*

._.

.

*cl…c…clllliiiccck… CLICK*

._.

.  
After I letting the warm water run over me, I feel much better.

Even though I had a shower just yesterday it feels more like it's been a few hundred weeks! And if I didn't know better I'd say by the look of me, that someone had been using me for batting practice! My body, from head to toe (especially the head!) was covered in cuts, bashes and bruises. It's like I play Hockey! Ha ha

Looking at myself in the mirror I wonder how I'm still standing. It looks like I'm some kind of walking war refuge!

'Whoo Yah! I am the queen! I am the all powerful she-devil!' I mentally hoot to myself, congratulating myself on surviving this wacky Wonderland!

Hiei's cocky image pops in my mind and I continue talking to his image instead now 'That's right you arrogant, self-righteous, cocky Mutha F*cker! You're going down _demon_ boy!' I smile wickedly at my bruises, 'You couldn't take me down, so now it's my turn to take you on...'

I'm having way too much fun in the mirror and have been in there forever. Botan knocks on the door."Enigma? Are you ok in there? Do you need help?" she says, sounding anxious. I look up and call out "I'm fine Botan!"

She says ok and leaves. It was all too easy, or maybe she's just happy not to have to come in? I hear her footsteps retreating down the hall. Then I turn back to the mirror, dropping my voice to a drip, I say, "_I'm just fine_..."

My eyes take on an unnatural light as they glint back at me.

Since I came here, I've been on the defensive. **I don't like it** and, really, _I've had enough_. I'm stronger than they've given me credit for! I've just got taken by surprise **is all**. I definitely feel more myself for the first time in what seems forever! I still really haven't a clue as to what the hell is really going on.

Humans...and demons... and gods walking around talking and laughing and fighting and living with each other.

_Yeah, like that makes a lot of sense…_ Other worlds sitting on top of each other like a big butt, and who knows what else what! Next they'll be trying to tell me super humans like the X-men exist! I grin.

Yep. They are a completely weird bunch, _the whole lot of them._ But whatever, I feel them. If nothing else, they keep life exciting. So if they want me to buy into their delusions of grandeur, **why not?** It's kind of fun.

_While I'm in Japan, I can deal with it!_ _Maybe it just part of the ambience! Ha ha_

I go to get dressed and slip on another dress because it's the easiest thing to put on. I check it out in the mirror to make sure it lays nice _and I gasp_! There are **more** bruises and cuts than there is skin left! Well, I'm clearly going to have to change into something that shows **ALOT** less skin...

Then I get an idea and snicker to myself... Maybe I'll pull a _Hiei..._

I rifle through my stuff hoping I remembered to pack them 'Come on... come ON... _YES_!' I find just what I'm looking for.

I strut out into the hallway to show myself off to everyone before I leave and pass by the mirror... I can't help it... just one more quick check to make sure everything is in place before I show off...

I'm wearing some of my favorite pieces I own. I have on shiny black satin pants with just a little flair and they slid just below the belly button. The shirt however, is solid black and sheer but not shiny. I really love it 'cuz it is snug around the arms till gets towards my wrists where it flairs out dramatically. And stitched in silver is a wild dragon clawing its way up my left arm. Even the collar flatters me in its oval shape which comes so far to the sides it flashes my shoulders.

My face is also really something. I smoked my eyelids in light gold glitter and tinted my lips to match. I've added enough blush to look a little flushed, but not enough to scream. It sounds a little too wild but against the solid black of my outfit it's really something!

My hair even decided to cooperate with me as I tried to conceal the damage from last night as it lay perfect and flowing so slightly I wasn't even aware it was there. I probably should put the bandages back, while I'm still healing, but right now I'm feeling really vain. 'I just have to remember _NOT_ to scratch my head.' I think.

As an afterthought, I painted my fingers and toe nails a metallic black as well and slipped on matching satin black sandals that were streaked in silver. I was really something to behold! I knew how to look so good the guys would gawk, but today_... I'll make them drop to their knees..._

I smile wicked into the mirror. 'And I know just the guy to try it out on... _Mr. I-am-affected-by-nothing!_ He's been torturing me up til now. It's time to turn the tables on this Bad Boy!'

I'm feeling high as a kite at this moment. My confidence is through the roof! If my confidence had weight, I'd crush this place! _'And it's show time..._' I say to myself as I walk into the room...

It's more than I expected.

Once I stepped into the living room, everyone stopped what they were doing, just froze in place as if someone had screamed "**Cut!**"

Botan, Yukina and even Genkai just gawked, flat out gawked. Then Genkai, she snorted, choosing to smile knowingly at me, before turning her attention back to a book. 'She'd probably been a naughty thing herself when she was younger' I muse.

Yukina and Botan... they had nothing to say. Apparently they had taken me for a complete dork, and I just blew that notion out of the water! I gave them a devilish grin and then moved on to my real target...

_And He was there_.

Just where I thought he would be. The corner window sill. How original!

He hadn't looked up when I walked in and still wasn't looking at me now. I know that he knows I'm here but he's obviously decided to ignore me. '**Well**!' I thought, 'I can take the bull by the horns if I need to!'

So I saunter over there like I own him and place one arm on each side of his head on the wall. Using my most seductive voice I can muster, I bring my face inches from his and say "Hello... _Hiei._"

_I wait._

Surely he can't ignore me now?!

I've invaded his space and _even __**I **__know_ he doesn't like that! It's got to bother him enough for him to respond!

And I was right. _It does..._ **and then I doubt my sanity for doing it...**

Hiei looks up at me. He says absolutely nothing. _But..._ **he doesn't have to**. I've... I've never seen him look **so angry**! He looks absolutely_... murderous_. His face pulled tight against his bones and his lips pulled with it into a severe line.

His eyes though… they dance with some kind of namelessly powerful emotion that I can't place, only feel electrocuted by. And I feel it then... _the hairs raising on the back of my neck for the second time today, as my brain registers the danger I'm in_.

I silently wait there trying to control my tremble, exerting all my will to not move my body or my arms. A frightenly exciting game of chicken where I was most assuredly going to become the loser on a skewer. I wasn't exactly touching him, but I was close_**, so close**_! The tip of his spiked out bangs just grazed the top of my nose, scratching it with the roughness of the point. Was his hair made of needles, or is it my very real fear that makes it feel that way?

My chest heaved with the quickening of my breathing, my heart was racing now. He could probably feel the heat pulsing off my breasts, his being at eye level with them where he sat.

I waited for him to shove me, knock me down or scream at me. **Or hell,** most likely shove his fancy sword thingy straight through my belly. The thought of the coming hole was a kind of morbid self torture, and the tingle of my nerves going haywire was bitter sweet…

Was I being brave because other people were there? Or have I just lost my mind finally? I'll never know. As, just as suddenly, _I'm looking at the wall. _

**He disappeared right in front of me! **

I spin around but he's **NO WHERE!**

"What the hell?" I shout. I look to Botan "Where is he? He was here_, wasn't he?_ I'm not crazy, _am I?"_ Then I spit out, horrified, almost nauseated at the thought "He's not some kind of _**GOD**_ too, is he?"

Botan looks sympathetic, "Yes. He was here. One of the powers that he has is great speed. He can move so fast it looks like he vanishes but he didn't really."

Yukina says nothing to that, but the look she gives me… is irritated, _almost disgusted_. I turn away from her, deciding to ignore her reaction right now and focus on Botan.

"Powers?" I stammer. Then, unwillingly, Koenma's words start to float back to me, 'Oh yeah. The whole _'he's a demon'_ thing they have going on.' I want to dismiss all of this so badly, to force this world to act normal and decent for a little while, that I decide to turn a blind eye to what I saw.

'That's obviously one of their delusions but still... _there have been so many weird incidents..._ but it can't be true...' I reason to myself. I black it all out, make myself stand up straight.

Forcing myself to smile as nonplussed as possible, I prod her "Sure. Well, are you ready to go now?"

She nods, letting me play pretend, and says goodbye towards the others with a wave and a smile and walks outside. I start to follow her, then stop and turn around to look once more, looking past Yukinas' cold eyes still focused on me, towards the window sill.

Reaching down, I feel the place where he sat with the flat of my palm, pressing into it gently. _It's still warm..._

But I shove back the creepy feeling and turning, wave silently goodbye to Genkai and Yukina, tepidly following the direction Botan went, to go out...

.

.

._.

.

.

*looking at Kurama with my hands on my hips, my head bandaged and an angry face*

**ME:** Kurama you've got to help me! I don't know what his problem is but he's off his rocker! Two chapters ago he was getting really snippy with me. Then last chapter he wouldn't even show up and NOW he was so close to killing me I could smell my own blood AND he's even threatening to take out my readers!

*I pull a few of my readers in to show him their wounds*

**KURAMA:** *looks very surprised* o_O I don't know why he would behave this way... I will talk to him ok?  
**  
ME:** *looking very skeptical* I hope so. I thought he'd really like this story and just when it was getting good and he got to be really wicked he starts freaking out on me. I just don't get him...

**KURAMA:** Don't worry about it. I'll handle him. He gets like this sometimes. He just doesn't know how to talk to people when he has a problem and he decides it just easier to kill them.

**ME:** Oh... is that all. o_O ... _think I'm in trouble..._

Well, peoples. Sorry about that! I know some of you pain enthusiasts just love heavy angst but I'm afraid I just wasn't able... to manage it this chapter. Perhaps the next, if I can hide from Hiei long enough to write it!

Review! Review! **REVIEW! I** need the energy! Tell me exactly which parts you thought were most powerful to you and why. I really enjoy seeing what people like most. Or even what you think really sucked or drug down the work, it helps me improve. Don't worry you can tell me... I'll hide you from Hiei, _I promise!_ ^^-^^


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